Help for Dreamcatchers

For those of you who might live close to the Tidewater, Virginia area, I urge you to consider attending this show and fundraiser. All the families and children in my Dreamcatcher's support group will be forever grateful!



The show is sponsored by the Partnership for People with Disabilties at Virginia Commonwealth University, Old Dominion University Theatre, the Guide by Your Side project, and the Pathways to Possibilities Conference.

Thankful Thursday

Today, I am thankful...

• for my gutted bathroom, the noise and the dust, and the construction supplies all around the house - because it means that very soon I will have a fully accessible bathroom for Ashley!


• for everything bagels - my current vice


• that on my day off (?) from work yesterday, I only had to work 3 hours from home - better than 8 hours, right?


• for the very handsome yearbook pictures taken of Chip who will be a senior in high school this coming school year. It's so hard to believe. If I close my eyes I can still feel the weight of his tiny baby body in my arms.


• for a large glass of iced cold water when I return from my nightly walk around the neighborhood


• that my van repair only cost $52 yesterday


• for friends like Sharon and her mom, Janice. Janice was just diagnosed with breast cancer, and in her inimitable fashion, is already talking about the 'boob job' she will be having.


• for "summer sandwiches" - tomato, cucumbers, lettuce, and cheese on toasted italian bread
  
  and the final two thankful things come Amy...


• for Deborah's ooey gooey buttercream frosted brownies


• air conditioning!

Feeding Frenzy

Both Corey and Jessica have some strange obsessions with food, and I don’t know how to help them. I had hoped that enough time in a stable, loving home would let both of them know that food is something they don’t have to worry about. But still it seems that they do.

Corey’s and Jessica’s obsessions are similar. They both seem very worried that we will run out of food. If there is food left in a serving dish at a meal, they will both keep asking for more. Before they start asking, however, they will ‘keep an eye’ on the food – frequently glancing at it – almost as if they are afraid someone will take it away.

Both will also go into the kitchen when no one else is around, and they will take food to their rooms. They seem to be trying to hide the fact that they took the food. I will find the remnants of what they take hidden in strange places in their rooms – usually because I have been alerted by a strange smell. And, if we go out to eat, Corey will always order the biggest item on the menu, and he is very quick to ask for an appetizer or dessert.

For years – 8 years for Jessica and almost 4 for Corey – there has always been a lot of food in the house. They are never denied food, and we always have healthy (and sometimes not so healthy) snacks available. I understand that the trauma of their early lives has probably instilled these food fears in them, but I would really like to be able to help them move past the fear. I just don’t have any ideas…

Music to My Ears

I wouldn’t call my family the most musical of families. The kids have had to endure my bad singing since they were very little. Otherwise they would have had no lullabies sung to them at all. And forget the ABC song and Itsy Bitsy Spider. So they learned to love my off-key presentations.

Because of my lack of musicality, I did try to encourage my children to explore theirs. When Chip was 5 years old, I signed him up for violin lessons. I had read that an early introduction to music would help a child academically. I still believe that, but I never could tell with Chip because after just a few short months and one recital, he was done with the violin. He then moved on to the guitar, but that lost out to an IPod. At least Chip appreciates music even if he doesn’t want to actively participate in a musical endeavor.

Jessica sings very well and is taking chorus in high school. Corey goes to a performance-based camp for two weeks each summer, so I guess there is still hope for the two of them to commit to a more musical life. Ashley, on the other hand, loves to bang on our piano or play her small accordion while the dog howls along, but the skill is sorely lacking.

Because of my failures to instill music-making in my children, I read with interest both a post on another site for which I write twice a week, 5 Minutes for Special Needs, and a link to a post that my friend, Jane, sent me.

The post at 5MFSN relates what a positive experience music has been in the life of the author’s daughter with autism. As the author writes, “Children with autism have been shown to respond remarkably well to music therapy, making it a great tool to use at home and in the classroom. Research shows that listening to music can help brain function. Music with a strong beat can stimulate your brain to try and keep up with it, helping boost concentration and alertness. By contrast, listening to music with slower tempos can help relax you. These benefits continue even after you stop listening. Music therapy can help with stress management (something I find particularly beneficial), pain management, and recovery from illness or injury.”

Soon after reading that post, Jane sent me a link to an organization in my area that is offering music training for children with special needs. Jane’s son has participated in the past, and loved it. The Da Capo Institute describes themselves as more than a music school. Rather, they consider that they are part of an emergent musical community. Their website contained a list of their guiding principles, designed after the first letters of their name:

• Develop the whole person through opportunities for self-expression, discipline, creativity, and teamwork.


• Achieve excellence through challenging experiences.


• Create, build, and strengthen new and existing communities through the common language of music.


• Appreciate all types of music.


• Provide an opportunity for everyone, where all are valued as individuals.


• Outfit individuals with the power to share music and impact their world

Another statement from their website, I believe, sums up the power of music in anyone’s life, but especially that of a child with special needs:

Music creates a backdrop of self-examination, determination, joy, and acceptance that fosters the positive development of a student with autism. Through music, we can be ourselves; there is no right or wrong! We can each achieve excellence at our own rate, given our own set of circumstances and be affirmed by a community.

Perhaps it’s time for me to re-examine my family’s musical experiences, or lack thereof. How about your family? Does music play an important role for you?

Simon Says

Dear Ashley,

I’ve grown accustomed to having my sleep interrupted by your nightly desire for a party. Why your party urgings strike at 3:00 a.m., I’ll never know. But until last night, I’ve never had my dreams interrupted by party fever, merely my sleep.

Last night, Simon Baker (who played the hotshot lawyer, Nick Fallin on the TV show The Guardian) and I were sitting on the front steps of my Boston row house – you know, the one we watched on HGTV yesterday as a million dollar renovation was completed. Just as Simon and I were deep into discussion about something going on at my neighbor’s row house, you started blinking the hall light on and off to get my attention. Damn, Simon was going to have to wait.

I quickly got out of bed, went to your room and put on my best mean mommy face (hard to do well at 3am), and told you to get back into bed. I then tried to quickly get back into my bed without waking completely so that I could hopefully summon Simon back for the continuation of my dream. Alas it was not to be. Simon had left and the only thing I could think about was that my alarm was going to go off in just an hour and a half.

So, my dear Ashley, if you see Simon in your dreams, please tell him to come back to mine. He and I still haven’t figured out what to do about my neighbor's 15 dogs, 2 potbelly pigs, and the parrot – especially the loud, screeching parrot.

Love,
Momma

Doing It Right

About a year ago, I posted a blog about Walgreens Drug Stores and their commitment to hiring people with disabilities. In that earlier blog, I wrote, “I do have to wonder if Walgreens would be making such a strong effort were it not for the fact that the son of the senior vice president had autism. Would the company have been so progressive if no one at the top had a life touched by disability? When we move to the next level, when companies do something similar because it is the right thing to do and not just a response to a personal involvement, then real progress will have been made.”.

I attended a training session earlier this week, the subject of which was making the workplace accessible for people with many different kinds of disabilities. During the training session, Walgreens was presented as a company that was ‘doing the right thing.’ Specific examples were cited and interviews with Walgreen’s employees were presented as evidence.

Now I’m convinced that Walgreens’ efforts are sincere and not just a response to the experiences of one senior vice president. After hearing the interviews of employees, I sense a real commitment throughout the entire organization. It’s amazing to witness the cultural change in the organization, and the words I heard were more than just words – they are solid beliefs in the ability of every person to contribute to the whole.

I’m including the original link I shared on the Walgreen’s story. Please take a few moments to view the two video clips included with the story. If today is a day that you need reaffirmation that there is still ‘good’ in this society of ours, you will find it in this story.

Thankful Thursday

Today I am thankful...

• that Amy (pictured to the right) is back from vacation!


• that the peppers and tomatoes in my garden are almost ready to pick


• that Amy is back from vacation!


• for old friends who call out of the blue and brighten a blah day


• that Amy is back from vacation!


• for the new blogging friends I have met through my writing at 5 Minutes For Special Needs


• that Amy is back from vacation!


• for the rare cool summer night when I can open my bedroom windows and smell the honeysuckle


• that Amy is back from vacation!


• that demolition starts this coming Monday for my bathroom remodel

Oh, and did I say I was thankful that Amy is back from vacation???? We are all, and especially Ashley, very very happy now!