The Water of Life

Today is the last day of National Adoption Month. I hope my posts this month have been helpful and informative, but more importantly, I hope they may have led someone to consider adoption.



I want to close the month with my all-time favorite quote about adoption. It is from the Jewish Talmud:

"A mother is likened unto a mountain spring that nourishes the tree at its root;
But one who mothers another’s child is likened unto a water that rises into a cloud and goes a long distance to nourish a lone tree in the desert."

Will you consider providing nourishment for that lone tree????

Stacey's Story

As National Adoption Month draws to a close, I want to devote one post to a very difficult subject - disruption. Disruption is the word used to describe an adoption failure. Actually, I don't like the word failure, but it usually goes hand in hand with disruption.

I truly don't believe anyone goes into an adoption thinking that if things don't work out, the child can be given back. It's like a marriage. Ask the bride as she is walking down the aisle to meet her groom if she ever thinks she will divorce her beloved, and the answer will be a resounding NO. The same is true for adoption. But sometimes, things just don't work. Fortunately in adoptions, unlike marriages, the not working out is very rare.

Having never lived through or even considered adoption disruption, it's very difficult for me to describe what I think the adoptive parents may feel. But, I know someone who can describe those feelings, and describe them in heartbreaking detail.

Stacey is one of the bravest and smartest people I know. She is completely devoted to her family, and she shares her stories of that devotion as an artist shares her craft. Read this post, and I believe you will understand completely the effect adoption disruption has on everyone involved.

Thank you, Stacey, for having the strength to share your story.

Leftover Children

Leftovers – lots of leftovers – turkey, gravy, yams, stuffing, green beans, rolls. One of the best things about Thanksgiving dinner is having leftovers for the next few days. One of my favorites is a hot turkey sandwich – leftover turkey piled high on leftover yeast rolls and then covered in leftover gravy. After a few days, we are driven to get creative with the leftovers, but to me, they are still just as good.

Did you know that a lot of the children in foster care, children waiting for a family to call their own, feel like leftovers? They have watched their friends and sometimes their family members get adopted, but they still wait. The feel like the leftovers that everyone has grown tired of.

But just as we get creative with our Thanksgiving leftovers, we can get creative with the children who wait for a forever family. It’s certainly not going to be easy to bring a teenager into your family, a teenager who has been rejected so many times that he will try to reject you. It’s not easy to bring the group of three siblings home to your quiet, clean house, but trust me, they won’t have much to bring with them to mess up your house. Or the child with significant disabilities that is spending her life in an institutional setting – all she wants, even if she can’t verbalize it, is to wake each morning with the knowledge that she is loved and wanted.

As National Adoption Awareness Month draws to a close, I implore you to examine your lives closely and see if there is any way possible that you can bring home a child who believes he is a leftover that no one wants.

Blessings Galore

I am thankful for so many things this year that it is impossible to list them all. But, I'm going to give it a try. If I leave anything or anybody out, it's only because I'm also old and tired and my brain is slow :)

First and foremost, I am thankful for my family. It is a family that has grown in unconventional ways over many years, a family that seems to fit together perfectly.

I am thankful for all the people that have helped architect my family - the birth mothers, the extended family members, the social workers, and the friends and family that have supported me through the years.

I am thankful for the people who stand by me - the people who haven't laughed at me or shaken their heads in disbelief at the decisions I have made for my family.

I am thankful for the shoulders that are always there for a good cry, and the hands that reach out to lift me up when staying down seems to be the answer.

I am thankful for the people and organizations that fight along with me for my children's rights and needs.

I am thankful for my job and the means it provides to meet my financial obligations. We have a comfortable, warm house when others struggle to survive in the cold. We have food when others are hungry. We have clean clothes and books to read. We have things to occupy our leisure and vacations every so often. We all know we are loved, and we know that our family is our refuge in the storm. We have what so many people long to have, and most importantly, all my children understand how blessed we are and are always willing to share those blessings.

I am thankful for all of you in this blogosphere. You read what I write - good or bad. You reach out to me when I need support, and you graciously share your stories with me. Friendships are defined very differently these days then they were 50 years ago, and I am thankful for that. Because of our friendships - near, far, friends who have grown up together, or friends we have not yet met - we find the strength to fight for our children, and to make their lives the best they can be.

I hope that each one of you knows how very important you are to me, and how blessed I am that our paths have crossed.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Special Exposure Wednesday

A Boy Adopted!!!



This picture was taken on National Adoption Day just after Ronnie had walked approximately 100 yards out of the courtroom and down the hall - a brand new record for him. that's probably why he looks a little tired!

Be sure to check out all the other Special Exposure Wednesday shots at 5 Minutes For Special Needs!

The Rich, The Famous, The Adopted!!

During Ronnie's final adoption ceremony last Saturday, the judge listed famous people who had been adopted. I was pretty amazed at the list, so decided to share the list with you also. If you are considering adoption, maybe a future president, musician, or company founder will be joining your family!!!

Steve Jobs
Larry Ellison (head of Oracle Corporation)
Deborah Harry
Ray Liotta
Babe Ruth
Nelson Mandela
Marilyn Monroe
John Lennon
Faith Hill
Jamie Foxx
Dave Thomas
Jesse Jackson
Sarah McLachlan
Scott Hamilton
Bo Didley
Melissa Gilbert
Dr. Ruth Westheimer
Bill Clinton
Jesse Jackson
Greg Louganis
Eleanor Roosevelt
Lynette Cole - Miss USA 2000
Priscilla Presley
Edward Albee (playwright)
John J. Audubon
Sen. Robert Byrd
Peter and Kitty Carruthers (skaters)
Nat King Cole
Christina Crawford (author)
Ted Danson
Eric Dickerson (professional football)
President Gerald Ford
Art Linkletter
James Michener
Tom Monaghan (founder of Domino's Pizza, owner of Detroit Tigers)
Moses (Biblical leader)

Three Miracles

Saturday, National Adoption Day, was a day of three miracles.

First Miracle - all my children were up, dressed and in the van by 6:35 AM so we could make the trip to DC for Ronnie's final adoption ceremony. 6:35 AM - I still can't believe it.

Second Miracle - The adoption ceremony was incredible. Thanks to our social worker and many other people, the celebration made all the families feel so special. There were pictures, tears, laughter, yummy food, and gifts for the children and families. The judge was very kind as well as inspiring, and did a great job of getting each child to sign their own adoption order. At around 11:45 AM, Ronnie became a legal part of our family, and had his name changed. He always was my son, but now absolutely no one can dispute that!

Third Miracle - When we left the celebration, Ronnie's spirit seemed lighter, happier. I can't find the right words to describe it, but it was almost like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. We had our own celebration when we returned home, and Ronnie got his favorite meal - Kentucky Fried Chicken. At bedtime, as I always do, I told him 'good night' and then signed 'I Love You'. Finally after 8 months, he signed it back!

I hope to have more pictures later, but here are a couple I was able to get with my camera:


The judge chuckled when I offered him a 'cigar'!!


Ronnie's birth siblings attended the ceremony to celebrate with him. They were so sweet, and offered their congratulations as Ronnie walked (yes, walked) out of the courtroom. Ronnie had been practicing and practicing with his new braces, and was determined to walk to receive his final order of adoption. He succeeded and there wasn't a dry eye in the courtroom!