Special Exposure Wednesday

Take that, you mean old witch! You hurt my arm - I'll hurt your nose!

Damage Done

I was finally able to get Ashley's blood work done this morning - just in time for the neurologist's visit this afternoon. Ever since the school staff person injured her Ashley's arm, Ashley would freak out if anyone touched her. And of course to get blood drawn, someone has to hold her arm, put the blue tourniquet on her, and then stick her with a needle.

Before the arm injury, she was very good about getting blood work done. She would hold her arm out, point to the back of her hand indicating that's where she wanted to be stuck, and would then point out the color of her veins and the blood that was coming out. When the draw was finished, she would always sign to the technician, "good work."

Though today wasn't as bad as the previous two times I had tried to get it done post-injury, she was still hesitant. And that indicates to me that her sense of trust has really been damaged.

This is one of the things that drives me crazy about having to have so many people in the lives of our children with special needs. As parents, we rely on and truly hope that all the adults that move in and out of our childrens' lives are worthy of our trust, and more important, our child's trust. For the most part in Ashley's life, that has been the case. But often it hasn't.

And this injury inflicted by a staff person - a person who has been by Ashley's side for several years - a person she trusted completely - has really hurt her, and I don't mean just physically. I'm really not sure if the emotional damage can be fully repaired. I hope with time, and with a lot of trustworthy, caring adults in her life, that it can. But I just don't know...

And equally as distressing as Ashley's loss of trust is my realization that I cannot always keep her safe. No matter how close I stay near her - no matter how involved I am in her education - no matter how OCD I get about her care, there will always be those times when I cannot be there.

I told her when I adopted her that I would keep her safe always. I lied, though I didn't realize or fully accept that it was a lie at that point. I can't always keep her safe. I can't always be there. And that breaks my heart...

Deadline Missed

I had it all planned. Friday was the start of a three day weekend for me, and the contractor had told me that Ashley's and Ronnie's room would be finished, and back to pre-water leak condition. I would have three days to get furniture moved back into the rooms, furniture moved back into place in the rest of the house, and the mountain of supplies that kept coming regardless of the fact that I had no where to store them finally put away.

But no - that was not meant to be.

The painter was here until 6:30pm Friday night. When he called it a day, none of the molding had been painted, and the closet shelves and bar had not been installed. The next day, in the bright sunlight, I also noticed that another coat of paint will be needed in Ashley's room, and something that still amazes me, the painter had not removed any nails or outlet covers - just painted right over them! I'm no painter but even I know better than that.

So, I've left two emails for the contractor, and I'll see what he has to say.

To say that I am extremely disappointed is an understatement. And, I will have to wait another week to get the house back the way that I want it. Ashley is never going to want to leave my room, and Ronnie has enjoyed having a TV and game system in the guest room in which he has had to stay, and will probably try to convince me not to move him back.

I'm just really tired of this whole situation, and want our normal, crazy life back.

Quiz Time

How would you react/handle this situation? You are in a meeting with your boss and most of your coworkers. Your boss keeps saying things like, "That's so ______." Fill in the blank with the denigrating word of your choice - a word that is used to characterize a group of individuals, a word that would be taken as derogatory, a word that is construed as politically incorrect by many, a word that often takes root in teenager slang.

I can think of several words to fit, and you probably can also. So just pick one and then tell me what, if anything, you would do in that particular situation.

Special Exposure Wednesday

Ashley is checking out the work on her room - work required because our AC unit in the attic had a water leak that destroyed walls, ceilings and closets. We're getting close to getting things back together - THANK GOD!!

Sexting

Do you monitor your child's texting and computer use? If so, and if you have ever found anything objectionable, what was your reaction?

One of the conditions for my children (now all teenagers) of having a smart phone and a Facebook account was that everything would be subject to my scrutiny. I can at any time review Facebook posts and friend lists, and can check out any text message or pictures taken/received on the phone.

When I listed the rules for Ronnie, he didn't seem overly concerned with any of them. But perhaps with the passage of time, he has forgotten that unannounced searches could happen because this morning I found something very objectionable on his phone.

He had sent a text to a girl in his class, and the text included language that is unacceptable and a request for a picture, a picture that would also be unacceptable. Sadly, the girl would more than likely comply with his request.

Ronnie and I discussed why the message was inappropriate (although I think he already knew why), and I told him that he would not be able to use his phone for three days. And, if I ever find anything similar on his phone or computer again, I told him he would lose the device permanently.

Ronnie is a champion pouter, so I am sure that is the face that will greet me each day until he gets the phone back. He's not a bad kid, and he is probably just testing the waters of life. But, he's got to learn what is acceptable and what isn't. And better to learn that at home than to have the school discover the messages, or worse.

Have any of you had to address the issue of sexting or inappropriate emailing and sharing of pictures? If so, what has your response been?

Sports Weekend

Ronnie spent the weekend trying out two new sports - wheelchair fencing and wheelchair rugby. He liked fencing but rugby won his heart. And why wouldn't it - it involved chasing a ball and ramming wheelchairs into other wheelchairs! Make sure not to miss the videos at the end of this post. (And a big thanks to Chip for the pictures and the video!)