TGIF!

Love, Love, Love Zach Anner!!! Every single one of his videos is crazy good, and I had a tough time picking just one to share with you. I do suggest that you go to his YouTube channel and enjoy everything he has to offer, and you will fall in love also :)

The Special Needs Parents Code

What? You didn't know there was a code for special needs parents? A rule book of sorts to help us navigate this sometimes challenging life we have? Well, there is and the number one thing in that code is that special needs parents DO NOT EVER bash other special needs parents, and most especially not in front of a group of people who have not walked our paths.

I participated in a panel discussion last night for a group of university students and professionals whose field of study is neurodevelopmental disabilities. Besides myself, there were two other special needs families represented. One of the two was a parent of two children, elementary and middle school aged. She was accompanied by her fiance, and she identified herself as a stong special needs advocate. The second was a father of a young boy who had received an Autism diagnosis not terribly long ago. That father and his wife, of course, knew something was different (his words) with their son, but after a long while, they finally received the definitive diagnosis.

Each of us on the panel had been instructed to share some information about our family. I shared my story as did the mother and fiance, and the father went last. He was very emotional, the way most of us were and may still be, when it came to talking about his child. He and his wife had tried for almost 11 years to conceive a child, and finally were blessed with a son. He spoke of his pride, his joy, his realization of a dream. His eyes began to mist when he mentioned that his wife started to question the child's development at his first birthday. He spoke of the search for a doctor who would understand, who wouldn't dismiss their concerns and tell them their son just needed to catch up to his peers. He talked about finally finding a developmental pediatrician who put a label to all they had been experiencing. And then he said, "My boy is Autistic...My boy is Autistic."

It felt like an AA meeting. Since my former husband was an alcoholic, I had been to an AA meeting before with him. I could still picture people from the group standing before the others and saying, "Hello, my name is ????, and I am an alcoholic." The father on our panel had just reached the same place of acceptance, and it wasn't easy. But he was there and he was ready to move forward. There wasn't a dry eye in the room.

Then the parent of the two children, the self-proclaimed special needs advocate, spoke up and said, "We don't say our children are SOMETHING...we say they have SOMETHING. Your son HAS Autism, but he IS NOT Autistic. He IS (child's name) and he IS your son, but he HAS Autism."

Okay, I get that not everyone would see this as a big deal - HAS - IS - blah, blah, blah. I happen to agree with the mom but she should NOT, under any circumstances, have called out that father on his use of terminology. The father had reached a very important place in his acceptance of his son. To call him out on his terminology trivialized all that he was feeling and all that he was sharing with us, his peers and the professionals who may offer support to his family in the future.

So, yea, there is a code, and we all need to remember that. The father on the panel didn't say anything else during the session...

Special Exposure Wednesday

Each year, my kids and I love to adopt angels from the Salvation Army Angel Tree. The Salvation Army Angel Tree program, in partnership with our local NBC News affiliate, makes available to the community thousands of angels to adopt. Each angel represents a child who without the support of the community would not have a Christmas. Members of the community choose angels from trees displayed at area malls and corporations. These donors adopt the angels by providing new clothing and gifts for their Christmas. Every year, thousands of children are given toys, clothing and other gifts through this program.

This past Saturday, we chose a 24 month old little girl and an 11 year old boy. Then we went shopping!! Here is a picture of Ashley with the two bags we filled for the children!

"All People Have The Right To Be Employed"

Although I hadn't planned it this way, I seem to have a bit of a theme going this week - employment and people with disabilities. Althought I haven't found a way to see this actual film, I'm going to keep trying and will let you know. The trailer alone makes me know I MUST find the whole film...

For decades in Toledo, Ohio, Lott Industries has excelled at manufacturing small car parts. All 1,200 Lott employees have developmental disabilities, yet the company competes with traditional non-disabled businesses and achieves the highest quality ratings. When the US auto industry crisis hits, however, Lott's market is wiped out and president Joan Browne has 12 months to reinvent or close the doors. For the workers, the stakes are even higher since their jobs are a refuge, not only from the impoverishment that affects the majority of America's disabled, but from social isolation. For employees Kevin, Wanda and T.J., work is more than just a direly needed paycheck, it's a lifeline, a symbol of their dignity, and their dreams made real. The race to find a new business plan drives this engrossing recession economy drama, but it's the humanity the film restores to the balance sheet that makes A Whole Lott More such a rare achievement.

Trailer for "A Whole Lott More" from Victor Buhler on Vimeo.

No Good In GoodWill

Just because something is legal does not mean it is right or ethical. Loophole in the law or not, this is appalling and something needs to be done immediately.

In their Words....

What are the kids in foster care thinking? Do they understand what is happening to them? Do they want to be adopted? Check out these kids who can answer those questions for you!

Throwback Thursday!

It was a little over 16 years ago that I found a missing piece of my heart. Her name is Ashley, and this is a commercial we did for the adoption agency that brought us together!!