I've run across several stories of interest this week and thought I would share them with you. One will teach you something - one may make you as angry as it did me - and one will show what is possible if we all care and work together.
And one other note - I am finally getting some time off from my very stressful job for the next two weeks. I plan to 'unplug' as much as possible, and spend my time enjoying life with my children. I may not blog much until after the first of the year, but I can guarantee that I will be well-rested, happier, and in a better frame of mind when I do come back! I hope you all enjoy your holiday celebrations, and I wish for you in the New Year all that you dream of!
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iOS7 (iPhone) assistive features for those who have disabilities
21st Century eugenics
Place Matters
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And finally, I wanted to share my all-time favorite Christmas song with you. So many people have recorded it, and I have loved every one. Happy holidays!!
Friday, December 20, 2013
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Never An Excuse
The following news story appeared in the Pittsburgh Post Gazette yesterday. The title of the story was Father, disabled son found dead; friends call killing an 'act of love'. I have included the full text of the story but have inserted my comments in bold. This crap makes me crazy, and at the risk of loading this post with enough bad language to receive an NC-17 rating, I will stop there. But any of you who know me or have been following me for any length of time, are likely to know what is going through my mind.
When police found 78-year-old Richard Liposchok and his mentally disabled son, Mickey, 52, dead of apparent gunshot wounds inside their Port Vue home Tuesday morning, the news was a jolt.
"I got all teary-eyed and upset. It bothered me," said Marshall Black, a friend and Port Vue Borough Council member who knew the elder Mr. Liposchok through the borough's Vigilant Hose Company No. 1, where both men were longtime volunteers. "I know it bothers everybody in the fire company."
It was not, however, wholly unexpected. (If it was not unexpected, why hadn't someone helped the family get the supports they needed to keep it from happening.)
"A lot of people assumed that something was going to take place here because of his son," Mr. Black said. (Again, WTF, if people assumed something was going to take place, why didn't they do something to stop it???)
Police would not say Tuesday whether Mr. Liposchok killed his son before taking his own life, though the involvement of third person is not being contemplated.
Mickey Liposchok's body was found on the living-room floor in the house in the 1900 block of New York Avenue after a housekeeper couldn't get anyone to answer the door or reach them by phone. The woman summoned a neighbor, Frank Cortazzo, who looked through a window, spotted the body lying in a pool of blood and called police.
Richard Liposchok, known to his friends as "Lippy," was found in the bedroom with a rifle, borough police Chief Bryan R. Myers said.
Both men suffered at least one gunshot wound, he said. The Allegheny County medical examiner's office expects to release autopsy results today. Allegheny County police are in charge of the investigation and did not return calls Tuesday seeking additional information.
However, Mr. Black and Port Vue Mayor Brien A. Hranics, who also knew the elder Mr. Liposchok and went to school with his son, said the death of his wife, Gail, last year, failing health and assuming the role of sole caregiver for his son were taking a toll. Chief Myers, also a family friend, said Mr. Liposchok had been depressed since his wife's death in November 2012.
"It's an act of love is what it was," Mr. Hranics said. "It was definitely an act of love." (Really? You have got to be kidding me...an act of love...murdering someone is OK if it is an act of love? I wonder if Mickey would have agreed that he was being loved when he was being murdered...)
Mr. Black said Mr. Liposchok, a retired steel worker, worried about what would happen to his son when he died and was not the type to seek help for his own problems. (Not a good enough justification for everyone else to stand by and watch someone be murdered.)
"When she passed, it was a lot on Rich. His health was deteriorating, it was getting bad. ... He was a very big guy. He whittled down to nothing," Mr. Black said. "He's a strong-minded person. He's always done for himself."
Mr. Cortazzo has lived across the street from the family for nine years and helped officers break into the Liposchok home Tuesday morning.
Gail Liposchok "was the one that took care of everybody," he said, though both she and her husband cared for their son.
"You'd always see the father and the son riding together to the store," Mr. Cortazzo said.
Reached by phone, Bruce Michnowicz, Richard Liposchok's nephew, would not speak with a reporter Tuesday evening. A relative of Mrs. Liposchok who asked not to be named also declined an interview.
"It's very sad," she said.
Tuesday's grim discovery was the second time this month that police were called to the home.
According to 911 records, the elder Mr. Liposchok had left his vehicle running in the garage for an unknown amount of time Dec. 5 and officers responded for possible carbon-monoxide poisoning.
The incident was reported to have been accidental, those records show. Mr. Cortazzo said his family helped rid the home of fumes by lending a box fan.
"As far as him intentionally doing that on [Dec. 5], I personally would have probably said, 'No,' " Chief Myers said. "But, then again, who knows what's in people's minds?"
Mayor Hranics said Gail Liposchok was Mickey's primary caregiver, and she and her husband worked hard to give their son as normal an upbringing as possible.
"That boy was their life," he said. (And that gave them the right to decide his death?)
The nature of Mickey Liposchok's disability wasn't entirely clear, but Chief Myers said he was born with the condition. Several people who knew the family said he was unable to care for himself.
After his wife's death, Richard Liposchok was seen around town less. The mayor wasn't sure if he was having trouble caring for his son, but said the family was private.
Mr. Black said Mickey was usually kept upstairs when he went to visit the home. (And this was a child that was being given as normal as upbringing as possible? Doesn't anyone recognize the red flags here?)
A longtime member of Vigilant Hose Company No. 1 who held various positions, including president and recording secretary, Richard Liposchok compiled the company's history through meeting minutes, newspaper clippings and photographs and was known as the town's historian.
"He's going to be missed. He was a very good guy. He was always fun to get in a conversation. He was up on everything. He was well liked," Mr. Black said. (Glad the father was such a well liked guy who will be missed. Is anyone going to miss Mickey?)
When police found 78-year-old Richard Liposchok and his mentally disabled son, Mickey, 52, dead of apparent gunshot wounds inside their Port Vue home Tuesday morning, the news was a jolt.
"I got all teary-eyed and upset. It bothered me," said Marshall Black, a friend and Port Vue Borough Council member who knew the elder Mr. Liposchok through the borough's Vigilant Hose Company No. 1, where both men were longtime volunteers. "I know it bothers everybody in the fire company."
It was not, however, wholly unexpected. (If it was not unexpected, why hadn't someone helped the family get the supports they needed to keep it from happening.)
"A lot of people assumed that something was going to take place here because of his son," Mr. Black said. (Again, WTF, if people assumed something was going to take place, why didn't they do something to stop it???)
Police would not say Tuesday whether Mr. Liposchok killed his son before taking his own life, though the involvement of third person is not being contemplated.
Mickey Liposchok's body was found on the living-room floor in the house in the 1900 block of New York Avenue after a housekeeper couldn't get anyone to answer the door or reach them by phone. The woman summoned a neighbor, Frank Cortazzo, who looked through a window, spotted the body lying in a pool of blood and called police.
Richard Liposchok, known to his friends as "Lippy," was found in the bedroom with a rifle, borough police Chief Bryan R. Myers said.
Both men suffered at least one gunshot wound, he said. The Allegheny County medical examiner's office expects to release autopsy results today. Allegheny County police are in charge of the investigation and did not return calls Tuesday seeking additional information.
However, Mr. Black and Port Vue Mayor Brien A. Hranics, who also knew the elder Mr. Liposchok and went to school with his son, said the death of his wife, Gail, last year, failing health and assuming the role of sole caregiver for his son were taking a toll. Chief Myers, also a family friend, said Mr. Liposchok had been depressed since his wife's death in November 2012.
"It's an act of love is what it was," Mr. Hranics said. "It was definitely an act of love." (Really? You have got to be kidding me...an act of love...murdering someone is OK if it is an act of love? I wonder if Mickey would have agreed that he was being loved when he was being murdered...)
Mr. Black said Mr. Liposchok, a retired steel worker, worried about what would happen to his son when he died and was not the type to seek help for his own problems. (Not a good enough justification for everyone else to stand by and watch someone be murdered.)
"When she passed, it was a lot on Rich. His health was deteriorating, it was getting bad. ... He was a very big guy. He whittled down to nothing," Mr. Black said. "He's a strong-minded person. He's always done for himself."
Mr. Cortazzo has lived across the street from the family for nine years and helped officers break into the Liposchok home Tuesday morning.
Gail Liposchok "was the one that took care of everybody," he said, though both she and her husband cared for their son.
"You'd always see the father and the son riding together to the store," Mr. Cortazzo said.
Reached by phone, Bruce Michnowicz, Richard Liposchok's nephew, would not speak with a reporter Tuesday evening. A relative of Mrs. Liposchok who asked not to be named also declined an interview.
"It's very sad," she said.
Tuesday's grim discovery was the second time this month that police were called to the home.
According to 911 records, the elder Mr. Liposchok had left his vehicle running in the garage for an unknown amount of time Dec. 5 and officers responded for possible carbon-monoxide poisoning.
The incident was reported to have been accidental, those records show. Mr. Cortazzo said his family helped rid the home of fumes by lending a box fan.
"As far as him intentionally doing that on [Dec. 5], I personally would have probably said, 'No,' " Chief Myers said. "But, then again, who knows what's in people's minds?"
Mayor Hranics said Gail Liposchok was Mickey's primary caregiver, and she and her husband worked hard to give their son as normal an upbringing as possible.
"That boy was their life," he said. (And that gave them the right to decide his death?)
The nature of Mickey Liposchok's disability wasn't entirely clear, but Chief Myers said he was born with the condition. Several people who knew the family said he was unable to care for himself.
After his wife's death, Richard Liposchok was seen around town less. The mayor wasn't sure if he was having trouble caring for his son, but said the family was private.
Mr. Black said Mickey was usually kept upstairs when he went to visit the home. (And this was a child that was being given as normal as upbringing as possible? Doesn't anyone recognize the red flags here?)
A longtime member of Vigilant Hose Company No. 1 who held various positions, including president and recording secretary, Richard Liposchok compiled the company's history through meeting minutes, newspaper clippings and photographs and was known as the town's historian.
"He's going to be missed. He was a very good guy. He was always fun to get in a conversation. He was up on everything. He was well liked," Mr. Black said. (Glad the father was such a well liked guy who will be missed. Is anyone going to miss Mickey?)
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Uneasiness, Guilt and Uncertainty
As my friend described it, there is uneasiness, guilt, uncertainty and constant second guessing. It's difficult to focus on anything else. And even if the new person is wonderfully skilled, there's still the change, the difference, the newness - all the things that our children with severe disabilities often have a difficult time coping with. It is a situation that happens all too frequently, and one which our children will face the rest of their lives.
So what can we do, if anything, to make it easier, better?
Often we find it difficult to explain the changes to our children. One day a beloved friend is there and the next someone else is there. The person that helps with the most challenging and the most intimate parts of our child's life, the person the child has learned to trust, is one day gone and a stranger has stepped in. It would be nice if we had the luxury of having both people together for a period of time, but insurance and finances usually keep that from happening.
And the issue doesn't just surface when we are replacing one fulltime person with another, it happens when we need backup care for our children. When the fulltime person is sick or wants to take a vacation. The agencies we deal with will send a substitute over, but at least for me, I usually opt to forgo the substitute and take time off from work myself to be with my child. It's just easier for me and I believe for my child to not have to face to temporary changing of the guard.
I don't know how to make these changes easier, how to help my child understand that helpers will come and go. Do you have any suggestions?
Monday, December 16, 2013
It's The Small Things
Ashley and I are alike in so many ways that sometimes it seems like I really did give birth to her rather than adopt her. Like me, she loves to cuddle on the couch on a cold, rainy winter day. We share the extra long couch in the living room, her head at one end and mine at the other. She tucks her feet under me and we share a down comforter. We could both spend hours like that, napping on and off.She is the child of my heart, regardless of how she joined my family. I truly believe we were destined to be together, long before either of us knew the other existed.
There are and have been so many blessings in my life, and Ashley is just one of them. Throughout the holiday season, I will highlight more of my many blessings, but today, tucked under this comforter, my back being massaged by Ashley's constantly moving feet and toes, is one of my most favorite things!
Friday, December 13, 2013
Love This Kid!
A precious little girl whose parents are deaf made sure her Mom and Dad could follow along during her kindergarten class’s holiday concert by using sign language and hilarious facial expressions.
Watch her sign and sing along while her class performs a Christmas version of “Bingo Was His Name-O” and other classics.
Watch her sign and sing along while her class performs a Christmas version of “Bingo Was His Name-O” and other classics.
Thursday, December 12, 2013
"I just want to pee alone"
I'm sure by now almost everyone has seen the YouTube video by Ylvis, What Does the Fox Say? Here is an hilarious parody of that called, What Does the Kid Say. I like it even more than the original!!
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