Feels Like Backwards

I started Ashley's tube feedings of fruits and vegetables last Friday.  Like I mentioned then, Ashley's doctor wanted me to do that because she didn't feel Ashley was taking in enough fruits and veggies by mouth.  And she's right, Ashley is not.  The most I can get her to eat is applesauce and raw spinach.  So I bought a bunch a fresh produce and started blending away.

Over the weekend, Ashley has had a mixture of sweet potatoes and mixed veggies, an apple/carrot/orange concoction, and a peach/pineapple/yogurt mix.  She is tolerating them well, and doesn't seem to mind the extra tubefeeding step before her meals.  I wish I could say the same for me...

I feel like we have taken a step backwards. 

When Ashley was much younger, she attended the feeding program at our local children's hospital.  It is a very intense in-patient, 6 week program, and that was followed by years,yes years, of outpatient therapy.  Ashley went from a totally tube fed child to one that would eat mac and cheese, mashed potatoes, spinach, chick nuggets, soup, and few other fairly soft foods.  She's never much progressed past that though, so the tubefeeding of fruits and veggies makes sense.  but I'm still having a tough time accepting it.

I think I need a heart-to-heart conversation with my friend, Lynnette.  Lynnette's daughter, Brooke, has had a lot of changes in her young life, changes that would bring most adults instantly to their knees.  But Lynnette moves forward by always saying, "Well, this is just our new normal."

I so wish I were as wise as she...