No Souvlaki For Us

Yesterday I met my sons, Chip and Ronnie, at a Greek restaurant for lunch, the Greek Grill Cafe. Although the restaurant owners have had other establishments, this particular restaurant just opened in 2010. The food is authentic Greek food - spanakopita, souvlaki, moussaka and gyros - with some American food thrown in for pickier eaters (like Ronnie).

The food was indeed wonderful, but I can't say the same for the experience.

The first thing I noticed was that there were no handicapped parking spaces. I did see a concrete 'ramp' at the end of one parking space, but a car was parked there making the improvised ramp unusable.

Chip helped Ronnie get up the curb and onto the sidewalk in front of the restaurant. But then we noticed something else. Another curb-height structure, a small step actually, had to be navigated to get inside the restaurant. One of the servers came out and offered to help lift Ronnie in his wheelchair (with Chip's help) into the restaurant. But, wheelchair users often have difficulty both with someone touching their chairs and with creating a scene - and Ronnie would have considered it creating a scene.

So, Chip got him in - and out when we were finished with lunch - but I was really surprised that a newish restaurant didn't have to abide by ADA regs. I know there are lots of exemptions to the ADA, and I guess this establishment got at least one of those.

It's sad really. We love the food but can't accept the inaccessible facility, as well as the mindset of the owners who don't understand or accept the concept of accessibility.

(Interestingly, the photos on the restaurant's website show a person in a wheelchair inside the restaurant. I wonder why it was important to put the picture up but not make the facility accessible.)

No Vacation Here

I saw a story on TV yesterday morning about Cumberland Island off the coast of Georgia. Also known informally as Carnegie Island due to the fact that the Carnegie family owns a good portion of the island and has several mansions there, Cumberland Island is a barrier island facing the Atlantic Ocean.

The only way to get to the island is by ferry or private watercraft. And once there, you will find no cars or other motor vehicles, just bicycles and people walking. And from the pictures on TV, it appears as if none of the roads or paths are paved.



It appears to be a beautiful, serene and interesting place - exactly the kind of place I would love to vacation with my children. But we probably can't. Island which allow no vehicles and have no paved roads are not very wheelchair friendly. It's a shame because I would truly love to visit.

Whenever we plan a trip or vacation, ensuring everything is wheelchair accessible is at the top of my list. Also on the list are things like proximity to hospitals and doctors, pharmacies, and appropriate transportation.

We've been able to find places to vacation, but we've also found places that we can't go, places I really wish my children could see.

What about you - do you know of vacation locations that are disability friendly - places where children with complex medical needs are welcomed - towns or resorts that have truly committed to access for all?

This summer we are planning a trip to Hershey PA. I'm sure the Hershey Park will be accessible, but I would also love to visit the Amish Country. I don't know what to expect there, but am thinking it might not be too accessible. Have you visited there and found it to be accessible and welcoming?

Accessible Minds

Accessibility is about more than ramps and grab bars. It's also about attitudes.

On Saturday, the kids and I went to a local farmer's market. I was a little worried because the market was out in the country and actually on a farm. Wheelchairs and dirt down't always play well together, but I really wanted some berries and squash.

We arrived at the Manakin Farmer's Market, and sure enough, parking was in a field, and all the booths were set up under the trees in a patch of dirt. But we were there and I was determined to get some vegetables. We unloaded Ashley's and Ronnie's wheelchairs and started the push.

Ronnie was able to push himself over the dirt bumps and craters, but Chip had to handle Ashley's chair for me. I think she actually liked it - perhaps it reminded her of an amusement park ride.

We made our way around the booths, picking up squash, cucumbers, strawberries, blueberries, rasberries, some strawberry jam and some fresh English muffins. I was happy but soon got even happier.

The three organizers of the market came walking towards us, and began to apologize profusely for the lack of accessibility. They explained that the space was free, which helped keep the cost of the produce low. They said they would like to make it more accessible but didn't know how. The offered to push the wheelchairs for us. They told us that the next time we came we should park right up next to the booths so we didn't have to push so far. There comments were all made very graciously. They were concerned and they truly wanted to help.

I'll take accessibility of minds over physical accessibility any day!

Not Enough Seating

Here is a question for those of you who have a wheelchair user in your family. When you go to performances or plays or sports games, how is the handicapped seating handled?

My general impression from the venues we have visited is that a wheelchair user is allowed one companion seat. If our party includes more than just those two people, we have to get seats in some other section. For example, the last time we went to the circus at our city's coliseum, I got two handicapped seats for Ronnie and Ashley, two companion seats for me and Chip, and Corey had to go to another section.

I just really don't think groups of people should have to be separated like that just by virtue of some of the group being wheelchair users.

It's not like the handicapped seats are prime seats. From my family's visit to several different venues, the handicapped seating areas are about in the middle of all the seats. By using those seats, we are not taking special seats away from someone else, and usually we end up paying extra for the handicapped seating.

And just last week, I heard from a mom who was told that no one could sit with her child who was assigned a handicapped seat. No arrangements had been made for companion seating. This child was so excited to see the Lion King show from Broadway, but unfortunately couldn't stay due to the seating issues.

How have you handled this on your outings? Have you found that complaining to management makes a difference? Do you try to work things out in advance of the event, and still have problems when you arrive? If you have found a way around this type of rule, I would love to hear about it!

Light My Fire

OK, I'm about to step back on my soapbox again. Let's talk a bit about the sexist attitudes of some restaurant owners and in addition, the complete disregard for wheelchair users at those same restaurants.

My younger kids were back in school today, but I had another day before having to go back to work. Chip is still on college break, so he and I decided to try a new restaurant near where we live. The name of the restaurant is Halligan's, and the one near us is actually the second one of these restaurants. The first Halligan's opened in our city's downtown area back in 2008, but the one we visited opened just a month ago.

The Halligan's website states that they, "capture the essence and mystique of what it truly means to be in the fire service. The restaurant is a virtual museum and tribute to past and present firefighters of all jurisdictions. We have accomplished this by creating an atmosphere that is comfortable to all members of the fire service as well as an awe inspiring ambience for the general public."

Further, the website introduces the owner as a current county firefighter, someone with 20 years of service who decided in 2008 to open his first restaurant. Sounds like a good plan if you believe the rumors often heard of firefighters being great cooks. And the food we had at lunch today was really good, some of the best I have had recently. I just wish two other very important aspects of the restaurant were not so bad.

First, what do I mean about sexist? Well, if I were a female firefighter I believe I would have a problem with the female serving staff dressing in barely-cover-the-butt khaki skirts. Everyone working in the restaurant dresses in an interpretation of firefighter uniforms. Everyone that is not female wears khaki pants, blue teeshirts, and red suspenders. But if you are female, you wear the microskirt, a tight teeshirt and the red suspenders. Yes, it's a bar, but still, the owner doesn't have his male servers in tight pants and even tighter teeshirts. Again, if I were a female firefighter, I don't think I would choose to support the restaurant.

Secondly, there was a complete disregard for the accommodation of wheelchair users. Every, and I mean EVERY table in the place was a high bar-style table. Absolutely impossible for a wheelchair user to sit at and eat or drink. I asked the server about the tables, and she said that the owner "didn't think about that until some patrons showed up in wheelchairs."

Really...you've been a firefighter for 20 years...a firefighter that more than likely had to help people with disabilities over the years, and you didn't think about that when opening your restaurant??? Or just discount the fact that you are a firefighter. How can anyone open any sort of establishment these days and not think about people with disabilities? It boggles the mind.

And one more question - did the building inspector not notice the lack of accessibility, or is it not their job to notice such things?

So Halligan's, dress your servers appropriately and remember that not everyone can lift themselves into a three foot high stool. You know, looking at your picture, Mr. Owner, and seeing you in the restaurant today, you might yourself be looking at disability in the near future. What then? Will you finally provide a welcoming establishment for all people?

A Market Only For Some

Ahhh, Black Friday - that time when we witness both the worst and the best in people. And sometimes, the worst and the best of accessibility. Just trying to move among the crowds with two children in wheelchairs is challenging. I really don't need retailers to do things that make it even more challenging, but it seems that is what I find every year.

In fact, two years ago, we tried to shop at a store named World Market. We couldn't get into the store. Here is why:



The ONLY curb cut anywhere near the store is just to the right of the front of the store. One might assume that you could then turn left after going up the curb cut and proceed to the front door of the store. But no....

There is a street sign between the store front column and the curb, completely blocking the sidewalk. Our second attempt to enter involved going behind the column to get to the front door. Nope...didn't work either because the store used that to contain extra merchandise boxes.

We were completely and totally excluded from the store.

After taking everyone back to our car, I went into the store to mention the problem to the store manager. To put it nicely, he didn't seem too interested at that point. Several months after the rush of Black Friday, I went back to the store and mentioned the problem to an assistant manager, an assistant manager who assured me they didn't want to exclude anyone from their store. That was well over a year ago.

So, we tried again this year. EXACT SAME PROBLEM!

You know, one of the TV news channels in my area posts pictures of people who are arrested each week. I wonder if they would be interested in posting pictures like this one of World Market and other establishments who limit access???

"I Don't Want Pity"

We parents of children with disabilities spend a lot of time talking and writing about the lack of accessibility and accommodations for our children. I know that at times I have gotten down right angry when, for example, non-disabled movie-goers use the handicapped seating at the theater or when I can't find a close parking spot. But compared to some people in Africa, what we experience seems like nothing more than a mild annoyance.



The subject of disability in Africa is not often discussed in the media, but a new documentary film aims to address this.

The film, Body and Soul, was shot in Mozambique's capital Maputo and follows the day-to-day lives of three young disabled people.

It reveals the challenges and discrimination they face - some children in Mozambique are not sent to school for example - but also reveals the strength and determination of each of the film's main characters.

Check out this link for the movie trailer, but be sure to have some tissues handy. Trust me, you will need them.

Can't Get In

I really like that Ronnie is in an inclusive setting at school. I think all children with disabilities should be. But, an interesting dilemma arises from time to time, and it has both a positive and a negative aspect.

Many of Ronnie's non-disabled peers treat him no differently than any other friend. That is the good part. In fact, because they don't think of him as different, they often invite him to their homes to 'hang out'. The negative aspect is that they don't consider things like how he will actually get into their home, or how he can use the bathroom at their home.

Very, very few homes, at least in my area, have wheelchair ramps. Many have very steep outside steps at both the front and rear of the house. As such, Ronnie cannot get into their homes. There have been times when the parents of his peers offer to lift him in his chair and carry him into their homes. I appreciate that, but there is just something about it that bothers me.

And if he does get in the house, if his friend's bathroom doesn't have grab bars, it will be very difficult for Ronnie to use the bathroom. What that means is that we do need to schedule visits around his cathing schedule. Again, not an optimum aspect of a visit.

We usually work around this situation by inviting Ronnie's peers to our home. But I know he would really like to be able to get out and visit at someone else's home from time to time.

It's just one of those things that I wish I could make better, but I really don't know how...

Visualize This

Sometimes I like to visualize in my mind what it must be like to be in a wheelchair like Ronnie or Ashley. Doing so helps me figure out accommodations that can be made to help make their travels a little easier. Today I was attending a business-related conference at a local hotel and decided this would be a good time for a visualization.

Unfortunately, the first leg of my visualization trip was not so good. I had to park in the parking garage for the hotel. I tried to pull into a handicapped parking spot, but the access aisle was being used for storage. See the picture below.



This is not an usual sight though. In the past I've seen piles of dirt, piles of snow, snow moving equipment, and grocery carts piled into the handicapped parking spot and access aisle. The way these concrete things were positioned, it was impossible to open the car door. I pulled out and found another parking spot. A person with a wheelchair may not have been able to do that.

Then my visualization took me up the elevator to the hotel lobby so I could register for the meeting. All that went well. The registration counter was lowered and had I been in a chair, I would have had no problem signing in and picking up my materials.

The next problem came when I tried to move through the hallways of the conference area. There were vendors lining each side of the wide hallway, making it not so wide. Throw in approximately 800 people, and traveling in a chair would have been nearly impossible.

There would have been excuse me after excuse me, tap-tap-tap after tap-tap-tap trying to get people's attention so I could move past. I think I would have just given up at that point, and now I understand better why Ashley and Ronnie can both get so frustrated in crowds.

Finally I found the room I was supposed to be in. It was a large banquet hall filled to capacity with round tables, each seating 8 people. There was hardly room to walk between the tables, much less move in a wheelchair. Had I really been in a chair, I would have had to just wait by the door for the entire presentation.

After the keynote, we were to move to breakout rooms for the next session. Mine was in a room with two aisles of chairs, each having 10 chairs in each row. Again, there was no room to move a chair down the aisles. I would have to park my chair either in the front of the room or the very back of the room. Either would have marked me as 'different' to the crowd.

After that session, it was back to the banquet hall for lunch. I thought I had it figured out this time. I would go in early in my chair, before the room filled with people, and that way I could get to the far side of the room to sit with my co-workers. But I forgot something very important. Had I done that, I would have been trapped in the room until everyone else left at the end of lunch. A trip to the restroom would have been out of the question.

And so the day continued - too many people, not enough room, and doors to heavy to handle while trying to also move a chair. I found myself getting very frustrated and wanting to just yell at someone. Again, I now understand Ashley's and Ronnie's behavior a little better.

But there was one thing that really, really surprised me. How could there be almost 1000 people in one location and not one of them have a physcial disability? Does that seem a little odd to you?

Under The Big Top

We ended up Spring Break with a trip to see the circus. Ringling Brothers was in town and had set up in our city's coliseum. The kids and I had been in previous years, and had a pretty positive experience, from an accessibility standpoint. Unfortunately, this year was a little different.

Parking was good. There was plenty of handicapped parking right across the street from the coliseum. Unfortunately, the curb cuts on either side of the street did not match up. We had to go from the corner of one street, walk through traffic, and then head to the other end of the block to find the other curb curt. Fortunately, there were police officers close by who helped us navigate the traffic.

We had great seats, and I do appreciate the coliseum staff making those seats available for us. Unfortunately, getting to the seats was quite a production, and whenever anyone needed to visit the restroom, the production continued. Plus, the only bathroom available for us was one men's restroom. Let me just say, I'm glad I'm not a boy. It was filthy and roach infested.

The staff on hand to help us were absolutely wonderful though. They are what made the experience a positive one, and had it not been for them, I'm not sure we would have stayed. But stay we did, and here's a sampling of what we saw:

When I Needed Help - Where Were You?

According to the Community Emergency Preparedness Information Network, “an increasing number of fire department’s have been trying to include the deaf, hard of hearing and deaf/blind communities in their fire prevention and safety plans. Many have applied for 2010 Fire Prevention and Safety Grants through FEMA. This will ensure that accessible smoke alarms are distributed to those that need them.

Tragically, there continue to be fire fatalities involving these underserved populations. Accessible smoke alarms will curb this trend, but these devices are very costly when purchased individually and they are only part of the solution.

Education and training programs continue to be a highly effective way to provide fire prevention and safety information to these individuals, but few fire education professionals know how to provide a truly accessible program.”

My experience in trying to figure out what type of smoke alarm to buy for my son who is Deaf is a perfect example of that lack of knowledge.

Several months ago, I emailed the fire department for my county. I asked for guidance on smoke alarms for the Deaf. Months passed and I got no response.

By surfing the Internet, I realized that a smoke alarm for someone who is Deaf is drastically different than a traditional smoke alarm, but I was still confused as to what to purchase. I knew I needed something with a strobe light, and something that could also offer vibration, to a bed for example, would be ideal. But, there is no one device that can do that. It appeared I needed to buy at least two things to accomplish my goals. Since those two things were quite expensive, I wanted to make sure I was ordering correctly. Thus, my email to my fire department.

Fortunately, the father of one of Ronnie’s wheelchair basketball teammates is a fire captain in an adjoining county. He used his influence and his contacts to get my county fire department to finally contact me with the information I needed. But it shouldn’t have worked that way.

What if another family or another Deaf person didn't have the contacts that I had? How would they get the information and support they needed?

So, the Community Emergency Preparedness Information Network is correct – few fire education professionals know how to provide a truly accessible program, and at least in my county, the fire department was not even responsive to a disability issue.

Very disappointing….

What Do You Think?

Over the years I have been blogging, I've done many posts about accessibility and accommodations. My recent post about Joey's Hot Dogs was one of those. My idea is to expand those posts and reviews, perhaps even into their own blog.

With aging baby boomers and more premature babies surviving, disability is becoming an even more recognizable state of life. I don't know about the specific areas in which you live, but in my area, I don't feel disability and needed access and accommodations are given much attention. The intent of my new blog would be to bring some attention to those things.

I will plan on one post a week about a place - store, restaurant, museum, school, park, etc - that my family and I visit. Then I will give you my opinion of both the accessbility and reasonable accommodations of each place. The places might be local businesses in my area, state parks, other locations to which we may travel, or chain establishments like Target, WalMart, McDonalds, etc. And I will also plan on sharing my review with someone at the location we visit.

So, what do you think? Is this worth doing? Would such information be valuable to you and your family?