Speaking of Group Homes

Almost every weekend, during outings with my family, I am asked if I run a group home. I guess it's understandable. My kids are almost all adults now - ages 21, 21,19, 17 and 16 - and other than Chip, my birth child, none of them look like me. In fact, none of them look like each other. Corey is Native American, Jessica is Latino, Ronnie is African American, and Ashley is of Italian heritage. Chip and I sport a blond, German look.

The first time I heard it, it bothered me, though I couldn't say why. Then I started thinking that if folks thought treating young soon-to-be adults with respect, love and caring was what group homes did, I shouldn't disavow them of that notion.

Of course, my years of experience with group homes is anything but what I just described. See Monday's post. But I want people to expect and believe that group homes can provide a positive, loving environment for people with disabilities. I want neighbors not to worry when a group home is planned for their neighborhood. I want families to feel peace when their loved one makes the decision to move into a group home. And most importantly, I want people with disabilities to be happy living in a group home, ensured of their safety, in a warm caring environment that is bright and sunny and clean. And I intend to make that happen.

I'm only a few years away from retirement from my career government job. When I do retire, I plan to transform my current, handicapped accessible home into a group home and prove that it can be done the way I described. I don't think it will be easy, but I think it will be worth the effort.

What do you think?

Love My Smile

When my family is out in the community, I know we can be quite the spectacle sometimes. The two in wheelchairs often race through the store aisles - Chip plays 'reckless driving' with Ashley while she giggles loudly - Ronnie burps loudly and we all pause for just a second and then burst out laughing - we put funny hats or clothes on one another - in short, we have a blast while getting our errands accomplished.

During an outing this past Saturday, we were heading to Target. Just as we pulled into the parking lot and began unloading all our paraphenalia, a van and a car loaded with adult group home residents and their 'staff' also pulled in. The residents were happy and excited, some skipping, some laughing, some chatting loudly about what they wanted to buy. The staff, however, did not appear the least bit happy.

The staff began shouting orders to the residents, "quiet down!", "get over here", "go in the bathroom right now", and "get away from the water fountain." It didn't take long for the smiles and eye twinkles to disappear from the residents. They fell into line and continued to follow whatever orders they were given.

This observation is typical of what has always bothered my about groups homes and the staff hired to support the residents. It's a job to the staff, and a job that many don't seem to like or enjoy. And their lack of enjoyment with their jobs has a direct effect on the folks they are hired to support.

It saddens me that people have their joy tamped down. Joy is often difficult for group home residents, or others with disabilities, to find. Let's do everything we can to support people when they are happy and joyful...even if it's a job.