Human Atrocities

I watched a story on NBC News last night and cried. Actually, I was sobbing. I had been avoiding the news story for days, since it broke and hit the airwaves last week. I knew that finding out more would cause me great distress, but I couldn’t ignore the story any more. I was drawn to it like a moth to a porch light.

The story I am talking about has to do with the abuse of people with disabilities in Serbia. Anne Curry from NBC News visited Serbia and saw first hand the horrors experienced by the children and adults confined to Serbia’s institutions. Also, the scenes of horror are chronicled in a report released last Wednesday by Mental Disability Rights International, a U.S.-based human rights group that alleges systematic abuse of mentally disabled patients in Serbia's psychiatric hospitals and social care institutions.

As I watched the news story, as I reviewed the report, I told myself that such atrocities could surely not exist in the United States. I had to believe that as my absolute biggest fear is what will happen to my children with disabilities when I am no longer able to care for them myself. But a little more research proved me wrong. The United States was also guilty as chronicled in the report “Christmas In Purgatory”.

The pictures in both reports are disturbing, disturbing beyond words. But, they should be seen by everyone who considers themselves a part of the human race. It is incomprehensible to me that one human being can do this to another. The world community must see and acknowledge and must then demand an end to such torture and abuse.

I would like to write more, but this subject still sickens me - physically sickens me. My wish is it will do the same to everyone else that takes the time to explore the story.

Holiday Hints

Lynne Edwards, LCSW, from Coordinators2, the post-adoption support agency which provides an array of services to my family and other adoptive families, suggests the following hints for a reduced stress holiday. I don’t know about you, but reducing stress is always welcome in my world! Thanks, Lynne!

• If this is your first holiday with your children, they may
  need an explanation of the holiday rituals, what they can expect and what you expect of them.


• Remember that holidays sometimes provoke thoughts about birth
  families and other past caregivers. So before the holiday, talk with
  your children about this. You could either share a variation
  of "I've been thinking about….and I wonder if you have" or ask what's on their mind as the holiday approaches.


• Help your children find ways to include members of their past
  families that they miss into holiday activities. They could include
  them in their prayers, write a poem, draw a picture or make an
  ornament or other decoration in honor of someone special to them.
  You can also create some new family rituals that include the memory of past family or caregivers.


• If you or the children feel sad or need to cry, go ahead and
  do it. Watch a sappy movie together, give few extra hugs or just sit and listen.


• Build in physical exercise for you and the children. Take a
  walk to enjoy the change in seasons or holiday decorations. Play a
  game outside or, if the children are old enough, encourage them to
  play an active game outside.


• If spirituality plays a role in your family, emphasize the
  spiritual aspects of the holiday. And plan ways to observe these and teach the children about them. If your children are from a different race or culture, be sure to share if and how the holiday plays a role in their culture/country of origin. Add to your family rituals by incorporating some of theirs.


• Provide opportunities for the children to give of their time
  and themselves. Encourage them to make gifts for friend and family, to volunteer with you in the community or donate clothes or toys to others.


• Keep the holiday as low key as possible. If you are spending time with several different people, try to spread the contact out over a few days. Having two holiday celebrations on two consecutive
  days can work.


• Set realistic limits for spending and stick to them. Even if your children haven't had much in the past, don't go overboard-keep it simple.


• Remember the holidays are stressful for everyone in the family. Give yourself a break and do something relaxing.


• Have fun!

Motivational Words

I think I've finally discovered one of the motivating techniques used by my school district. I believe the following posters are displayed prominently in a secret location in each school building as well as at Central Office, and that school district employees are required to review them prior to each IEP meeting:





But just for the record, I've got a motivating poster of my own. I hope my school district realizes the entire iceberg is waiting should they choose to not provide what is appropriate for my children:

Disability Awareness Done Well

Favorite Adoption Quote

"A mother is likened unto a mountain spring that nourishes the tree at its root; but one who mothers another's child is likened unto a water that rises into a cloud and goes a long distance to nourish a lone tree in the desert."

The Talmud

Thankful Thursday

If you read yesterday's post, you know that coming up with a list of 10 things for which I am thankful is going to be difficult this week. But, I'm going to start the list and see where it takes me...

This week I am thankful...

• That it is no longer Monday


• That Ashley has an infection in each ear. I know that sounds strange but at least now I know why she has been *difficult* all week


• For antibiotics that cure an ear infection, even two ear infections, very quickly


• For the beautiful bright yellow leaves falling from the tree in my front yard. Several leaves have even stuck themselves to my windows - Mother Nature's version of window clings


• For Edy's peanut butter cup ice cream at the end of a particularly difficult day


• For Amy and her friend Sara and the portable wheelchair ramp they are building for my house


• That when I had to replace my hot water heater last year, I chose a really large one. Even with four teenagers in the house, there is still enough hot water for me to soak in the tub.


• That my four teenagers actually take daily showers


• That all the good (i.e., chocolate) Halloween candy is finally gone. I just don't handle temptation well


• That this week's list is done!

A Weak Week

Sometimes by noon on Monday, I just know I am facing a difficult week. Unlike the weeks where the difficult times sort of sneak up on you on a Wednesday afternoon, the really bad weeks announce their presence first thing on a Monday. This is one of those weeks.

It’s usually not just one thing that puts me on high alert – it’s the combination of things, coming one right after the other. The car’s check engine light comes on during the morning commute. My youngest son forgets to tell me about a physical form that MUST be completed by Tuesday morning. Someone is in my reserved parking spot at work. The cat has thrown up in the middle of the night – I know this because I step right in it when I get up in the morning. Amy, Ashley’s aide, is significantly injured by another child at school and now has her hand in a cast. One of the main computer servers at work crashes and all eyes look to me to fix it – a job that takes approximately two hours, but a job that everyone wants done in 30 minutes. And this all happened before lunchtime on Monday.

I won’t even start a list of Tuesday and Wednesday, but just for the record, things didn’t get any better. It’s now Wednesday night, and all I can think about is that Thankful Thursday is going to be a challenge this week…