"As far as we know"

Last week, Ashley came home from summer school with significant bruises on both her knees. One knee was swollen and needed ice applied. These bruises joined the other scattered over her body. No note came home from summer school and no phone call was received explaining the bruises.

I sent a note in the next morning asking what had happened. The response came home in the afternoon - "Ashley is doing so well in school. She is a joy to have around, and we are so glad she is a part of the program this year. As far as we know, she didn't fall, so the bruises must come from playing on the playground equipment."

Ashley is supposed to have a full time aide by her side at all times. A seizure can happen at anytime, and her aide is supposed to be there to assist, not to mention the fact that Ashley needs a sign language interpreter at all times. Yet, "as far as they know", Ashley didn't fall???

Monday afternoon this week, Ashley came home from summer school with a bad abrasion on the inside of her right arm just above the crook of her elbow. It was about the size of an egg. No note accompanied her again. I washed it and applied antibiotic ointment. But this time, I did not send a note in the next morning.

The next day, near the end of the summer school day, I receive a phone call from Ashley's teacher telling me that Ashley's aide just reported that Ashley scraped her arm going down the slide on the playground. They took Ashley to the nurse who applied "neosporin and a bandage." I mentioned to the teacher that the injury had occured the day before and her response was, "Oh." No explanation, no apology, nothing.

I'm just hoping Ashley makes it to the end of the summer school session without breaking a bone, getting stiches, or putting out her one good eye...

For The Umpteenth Time

Ashley can't hear you - she's deaf.

No, she can't really see you either - she's blind.

Yes, she always carries that star garland with her on the bus. She has since the 3rd grade. No, she won't put her eye out with it.

No one mentioned that she has seizures? Well, she does, and is quite likely to have them during the bus ride.

Yes, she will hit her head sometimes, usually when she is trying to communicate with you and you are ignoring her.

Yes, she uses sign language but you don't need to worry. She has other techniques to communicate once she realizes you don't know sign language. Just pay close attention and you will see.

She gets overheated very easily because of one of her medications. Since your bus is not air conditioned and it is Summer, please allow her to have a bottle of water and keep her window open. I know you have rules but do you also know basic first head for heat related issues?

Ashley asked me why she can't sit next to another student on the bus? I told her that you said there were rules. Yep, neither she nor I understand that stupid rule.

And on and on and on it goes - everytime there is a new bus driver and aide - which is about 5 times a year. Why is information from Ashley's school file not shared with everyone on her school team - bus drivers and aides included? I've even written a one page information sheet that I have handed out. It doesn't seem like anyone reads it, and they definitely don't pass it on to any substitute or new drivers.

This just doesn't seem like rocket science to me...

BTDTGTS

(BTDTGTS = been there, done that, got the t-shirt)

Ashley starts ESY services on Monday. Six weeks of going to school for 1/2 day, 4 days a week. Six weeks of sweltering rides on an un-airconditioned bus. Six weeks that are supposed to keep her from regressing but actually do little more than *teach* her to make tie dyed t-shirts and play in water.

I fought so hard to make sure Ashley had ESY services, and I do think it is a nice change of pace for her from the summer slug time she has had at home for the last three weeks. But I do wish more real academics could be presented to ESY students.

We will also have the same battles we have every summer. Ashley will have to adjust to at least 2 different bus drivers and 2 different bus aides, and there may be more than that. For some unknown reason, ESY services are broken into two sessions - a 4 week session followed by a 2 week session. And there is different bus staff for each. If we're really lucky, she will have a different driver and aide for the morning and the afternoon, upping the number of people to a potential of 8.

The ESY teacher is someone Ashley has never met, and I'm betting has no idea how to teach a child with deafblindness, or deal with Ashley's unique seizure activity, or even how to communicate with Ashley. There will be an aide assigned to Ashley, and it is someone that works at Ashley's regular school - but it is someone who doesn't sign fluently.

There there is the aide she had for several years in middle school who does sign and who will also be working summer school. That might sound like a good thing, but Ashley and that person had a breakup on a professional level at the beginning of last summer, and continued contact (at least on Ashley's part and definitely on my part) will be most unwelcome.

But Ashley can be very 'go with the flow' and will probably be excited about a change in routine. And right after ESY is over, we will be going on a fun family vacation.

So, I will continue to homeschool and keep my fingers crossed that she doesn't catch any illnesses at summer school. I just really wish that ESY could be as it was truly meant to be...

Such a Waste of Time

Why did Ronnie's school team feel like a hearing test was necessary? Any one of the team members could have stood behind him, yelled at the top of their lungs for 5 minutes, and he would never have turned around or heard a thing. Yet, because it was time for his triennial evaluation, and hearing tests are part of that, he had to sit through an audiological exam at the school.

The note that came home that afternoon said that there were 'no surprises.' Really? Did you think he had been faking all this time, or that somehow overnight a miracle had occurred and his hearing was restored?

What kind of message are we sending to students like Ronnie we they are forced to sit through tests like that when the outcome is obvious? I'm betting that he is getting the message that still something is wrong with him, less than ideal, less than what the school would hope. Why else would they continue to test if not out of a hope that somehow he gets 'better'?

And how much taxpayer money is being wasted on fruitless pursuits such as this?

You can probably tell things are not going well with his current school placement. Thankfully he will return to his home school next year, and I firmly believe things will be better.

Teacher?

I admit it - I am a reality show addict. My favorites are Dancing With the Stars, So You Think You Can Dance, Amazing Race and Survivor. In fact, I have seen every season of Survivor since its inception. But one of the players in this season's show has really rubbed me the wrong way (and that's putting it mildly).

Alicia Rose, a 25 year old special education teacher from Chicago, made the following statement about another player during last week's show:

"Christina's IQ is probably a zero … I don't know if that even exists. I mean, I'm a special ed teacher, so uh, I handle Christina as one of my students. And she's gonna do whatever we tell her to do."

Really nice, eh? Wouldn't you want Alicia teaching her children with disabilities? And is her school district really going to let her come back to her job after the show?

Personally, I think Alicia Rosa better win that Survivor million bucks, because to me her current career path doesn't exactly have the brightest of futures.

High and Low

She's a middle school teacher. Before that she worked for our state's TTAC, the Department of Education Training and Technical Assistance Center. TTAC's website says their staff will:

•Promote collaboration and teamwork with school teams families and community agencies, to build stronger educational communities.
•Promote access to educational opportunities for all children and youth with disabilities.
•Provide technical assistance that promotes evidence-based practices.
•Remain current in our knowledge of effective practices in the areas of education and technology.
•Deliver quality evidence-based training opportunities to meet the diverse needs of the adult learner.
•Foster a work environment that promotes healthy, human relationships.


The students in her classroom all have the label of severe disabilities. Some are deafblind, some with autism, some otherwise diagnosed.

Last week she directed one of the classroom aides to take the 'highs' to another classroom. It was clear that she meant the higher functioning students.

So now, besides having all the other labels assigned to them by the school district, these students have one of two other labels - High and Low.

You know what, Madame "Teacher", and I use that term loosely, I have a few labels for you....

Coming Home

Finally, a decision was made yesterday. Ronnie will be coming back to our neighborhood school for the next school year.



At the end of last year during Ronnie's IEP meeting, I was sold a bill of goods. I was told that the new zone program for hearing impaired students would provide Ronnie more of a Deaf culture experience. That didn't come to be....and Ronnie missed his friends at his old school. I won't list all the issues and reasons why I wanted him to transition back, but I will say that he was very happy at yesterday's meeting when the decision was made.

He will now attend the school from which his two brothers graduated and the school where his sister still attends. The staff at the school is very excited to have him back, and he has been texting his friends to tell them the good news.

Sometimes what looks like a good approach actually isn't. However, when one looks at the 'whole' student, not just the disability, the right approach is clear.

Standing Firm for What He Wants

I'd gotten spoiled the last few years. All my IEP meetings were at the same school with the same school staff, and everyone understood 'the rules.' But this year, Ronnie moved to a different school and the play book was tossed out the window.

Today I sat in an IEP meeting with an entirely new group of school staff. Obviously missing was someone from Central Office, and that would prove to be a problem - more on that later.

I received the draft copy of Ronnie's IEP late last Friday afternoon, and the meeting was scheduled for 1pm Monday. That is not enough time for me to digest what the school was offering. Several times, the teacher asked if I had time to review the proposed document, and every time the answer was no - I have a life and other children. I need time....

But the meeting was held, and from the very start, it took a turn for the worse. Remember those triennial scores from the tests not normed for a deaf students - those scores I had them put a disclaimer in Ronnie's file about - well lo and behold, those very same scores showed up in the Present Level of Performance section of the IEP. I suggested a rewrite and the rewrite was accepted. But why would the team think the scores would be acceptable in an IEP when I vehemently opposed them in the triennial report???

From there we moved to the goals and objectives. Ronnie's teacher, sweet and well-meaning as she may be, just doesn't know how to write a measurable objective. So all my suggested rewrites for those were also accepted. Along the way both the chair of special ed for the school and the teacher kept saying I needed to be a teacher. I reminded them that my expertise came as a result of many years and too many IEPs to count. Should have stood as a warning, don't you think???

Finally, we were at the placement discussion. Everyone except Ronnie and I assumed Ronnie would stay at his current school next year. I started on my speech about why that was not what either of us wanted. The school team's response started at shocked and then moved to being defensive and finally to telling me they couldn't make a change like that. Someone from Central Office would have to talk to me about that.

Well, if someone from Central Office had been at the meeting like they were supposed to be we could have settled the issue and perhaps had a signed IEP. As it stands now, there is no signed IEP and I don't know when there will be one.

Perhaps the saddest moment for the teacher and staff came when I suggested the interpreter ask Ronnie why he wanted to go back to his previous school. I didn't want them to think Ronnie was answering a certain way just to please me, and that's why I wanted the question to come from someone else. Ronnie said all his friends were at his previous school, that he hadn't made any friends at the current school, and he just wanted to go back. When further quizzed as to whether the staff at the current school could do anything to change his mind, he politely signed, 'no.'

That was a good example of self-advocacy in my opinion, but it was sad to see his current teacher get teary-eyed at the response. Ronnie is a very easy person to fall in love with, and I'm sure his teacher has. But both Ronnie and I know that he has to make decisions that are in his best interest. And today he did that.

I am very proud of him...

Here We Go Again

When Ashley was in elementary and middle school, I constantly had to prove her abilities. She was viewed as a child with many deficits rather than a child who learned differently. Because she didn't fit the mold of a typical student, she was labeled as significantly delayed, when actually the teachers and staff had just refused to acknowledge that her sensory disabilities meant she approached the world in a different way. Fortunately by the time she moved to high school, her teacher 'got it', and Ashley has and continues to flourish.

But now I am facing the same battles with Ronnie's new school and teachers.

As parents of children who receive special education services you know that once every three years a child has to be re-evaluated. It's called a triennial, and it has always baffled me as to why we must go through all the testing over and over when the disabilities remain the same. Ronnie is still just as deaf as he was three years ago. He still communicates in his mother tongue, ASL. And he has not miraculously tossed aside his wheelchair and begun to walk.

But that doesn't matter. The rules say the triennial must be done and done it is. And that's where my problems with Ronnie's current educational staff emerge.

One component that was administered was a speech and language evaluation. I get the language part if, and that's a big if, the evaluation is administered in ASL by a Deaf person. It wasn't. But the school feels it is fine because they used an interpreter for Ronnie. I won't go into all the reasons why that is not a good approach, because even more distressing than that is the fact that they also administered the speech component. Ronnie doesn't speak - at all. Like a lot of Deaf people, he makes sounds, and in fact can be quite loud sometimes, but he is not speaking words. Again, ASL is his mother tongue.

But again, the school thinks all this is ok because they believe they have also measured his ASL skills - with a speech and language evaluation. Here are two examples why that was a disaster also:

Ronnie was shown a picture of tweezers and asked to sign what they were. He signed 'pickup - hair - ouch'. The speech therapist marked that as incorrect since he didn't know the word 'tweezer'. But what Ronnie signed is the sign for tweezer. If you want to see what I mean, go to the website www.aslpro.com, select main dictionary, and select the word tweezer.

The speech therapist also noted that a lot of Ronnie's signs were incorrect because they showed the action of the word, not the actual word. Again, go to aslpro.com and look up words such as wheelchair and basketball. Many, many ASL signs reflect the action of a noun, but the speech therapist didn't know that. I'm still baffled why the interpreter didn't enlighten the therapist.

So the result is that their evaluation puts Ronnie's language at the 3 year old level. And that is nothing short of preposterous.


Then to make things worse, the classroom teacher used the Kaufmann Test of Educational Achievement to measure Ronnie's educational level. Only there's one little problem. The Kaufmann has never been normed for students who are profoundly Deaf. So I head to the triennial meeting on Tuesday to again argue the point that unless a test has been normed for the student you are evaluating, all the results are invalid.

It reminds me of the time Ashley's teacher came away from Ashley's triennial with the statement, "Ashley is a visual and auditory learner.' ASHLEY IS DEAFBLIND!!!

Tuesday's meeting is probably going to be a little contentious because once again I am going to have to argue why standardized testing does not fit all students, especially students with sensory disabilities. I really thought we were past all that in my school district, but apparently not.

Cameras Needed

The student is a 6th grader, and besides having autism, she had bruises on her arms and around her nose. Being non-verbal, the child couldn't tell anyone what happened to her, but that didn't matter - the school had cameras in the gym where the incident happened. And the incident happened because an instructional assistant assaulted the student.

Things like this just fuel my fears - fears over what happens to my child at school and on the bus - fears over what will happen when she is out of school, riding special transportation, and at a work site. These are the fears of my nightmares.

Although I am comfortable with Ashley's school environment now (she has the world's best teacher and we communicate daily), I do have major concerns about the bus transportation. And her school years in the past have been rough.

First there was the broken nose from falling up the school stairs when she was only 3 years old; then there was the split lip that required stitches that happened in the school hallway and 'nobody saw anything'; then there were the two broken front teeth that happened on the bus and "'we're so sorry, that camera wasn't working that day"; then the day she came home without her g-tube and "nothing happened here, we're sure of it" (until the next day when the g-tube was found on the playground); then the catscan that was needed because she tripped over a rug on top of carpet in the classroom and fractured her eye socket bone; then the cut to her head that required two staples caused by "Ashley did that to herself"; and then all the bruises to her arms and legs that look suspiciously like fingertips.

All schools need cameras in all classrooms and hallways and lunchrooms and offices and buses. Nothing short of that...

Missing Mr. Ralph

While my two oldest boys, Chip and Corey, were in high school, they had the same bus and same bus driver for all four years. The bus was on time 99% of the time, both for the pickup and dropoff in the afternoon.

For my two youngest children, Ashley and Ronnie, they are lucky if they have only four different bus drivers and busses each school year. There is no consistency from year to year, often from month to month, and that makes it really difficult for both the drivers and aides who need to know my children and the effect of their disabilities, as well as for my children, both of whom do best with a consistent routine. And having the bus arrive on time??? Almost never.

But I finally got lucky with Ashley’s transportation last November. After complaining about the greatly inconsistent schedules of her assigned bus, schedule problems which kept me from ever getting to work on time, Ashley was assigned a new bus and lo and behold, it was a bus driver that she knew!

Mr. Ralph was Ashley’s driver last year for some of the year. He understands her, and often comes up with great ideas on how to make the ride to school less stressful for her. He is always on time which means I make it to work on time. So everything was going great…..until Tuesday of this week.

Twenty five minutes after the allotted pickup time, Ashley’s bus finally shows up with a different driver. As Ashley starts back to her seat, I begin asking the driver to at least radio his dispatcher if he is going to be that late in the future and the dispatcher can call me. Tuesday morning we waiting outside in the sub-freezing temperatures for 30 minutes. The driver immediately went into defensive mode saying he was just a substitute driver. I asked again for a call to the dispatcher in the future, and he just rolled his eyes and turned away.

Wednesday morning the bus was only 10 minutes late, and yet another new driver was in charge. At least she said that she had radioed dispatch, but dispatch never called me. The driver seemed nice enough, but I asked when Mr. Ralph would be back. She said he wasn’t coming back because he had been transferred to another bus.

Deep and heavy sigh…..

Of course, when things are working well, let’s just mix them up again. That seems to be my school district’s philosophy. I completely understand that running transportation for a school district as large as mine is not an easy job. But it is a job that I assume the folks in the department are trained to do. Does it really have to be as difficult as it seems to be?

And why is it always the special education students who have to put up with the most changes? Special education students who do best when life is predictable and routine? Why can’t the bus transportation for my children receiving special education students be as good as it is for regular education students? Maybe, School District, you should try switching the managers of those two departments and see if it makes a difference….

Things I Don't Understand

So, can someone tell me exactly what an "educational interpreter' is supposed to do? I think I heard somewhere that there are slightly different than regular interpreters, but in what way?

I'm not real comfortable with the way things are going with Ronnie's educationl interpreter. I don't think the interpreter is supposed to act as a counselor, or suggest courses of action, or even discuss things that aren't related to the school day. But Ronnie's interpreter does.

It makes me uncomfortable. If doing those things is outside the ethical interpreter mode of operation, it makes me wonder what else the interpreter might do?

But then again I could be way off base since I really don't understand exactly what the educational interpreter is supposed to do. Can anyone help?

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One more thing I don't understand about school - why does my child with severe disabilities bring home a course selection sheet that lists all the classes she CAN'T take? What is the point? Is it to make me sad? If so, it'w working...

Do It Right....Or Else

Just when I thought I only had one school bus battle to fight, another rears its ugly head.

Now what, you ask? Well, for the last three days of last week, Ronnie had what we thought was a substitute bus driver and aide. I did find out late Friday afternoon that they are not substitutes - they are the new staff for his bus.

Apparently, the bus driver is 'new' as Central Office told me. And that newness is certainly apparent since she can't drive the friggin' bus!!

We have a nice long, wide paved driveway. Every bus for the last 14 years has been able to stop at the end of the driveway in such a way that the wheelchair lift can be set down with no problems. Ms. new bus driver, however, can't seem to do that. Last Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, she either overshot or undershot the driveway. That wouldn't be too terrible if we didn't have deep ditches on either side of the driveway!!

All three days, the wheelchair lift was lowered into the ditch and the bus aide just stood by and watched as Ronnie struggled to get to level ground in his chair. Fortunately Chip was out of college and met Ronnie's bus and was able to help him.

I called the main transportation office and they said they "would talk to her." Wonder how things will go today? I'm going to leave work early just so I can be home when his bus arrives. If the driver doesn't make it safe for him to exit the bus, I'm going to be very, very angry and make a scene...

Stay posted for an update tomorrow!

Bus Discrimination

I wonder how many hours I've spent over the last 15 years working on school transportation issues for my kids? I'm sure it would be a large number. Just earlier this year, working through one, what seemed like a relatively simple transportation issue, involved 6 people from the school district and resulted in 62 emails before the issue was resolved.

And here we go again...

Ronnie will be 17 years old in a month. He is a junior in high school. He rides what my school district lovingly calls "special transportation" only because he uses a wheelchair and cannot be accommodated on "regular transportation."

Kids that ride regular transportation usually have to walk a block or two to catch the school bus in the morning and then to return home in the afternoon. There is no door-to-door regular transportation. The doors of the regular transportation busses open up, the kids exit, and once they are out of the street, the bus driver goes on his/her merry way. Of course, the parents of elementary age students often wait at the bus stop for their children, but middle and high school students find their own way home every day.

So, when Ronnie and I decided that it would be ok for him to exit his bus, door-to-door transportation because it is "special" and not "regular", and find his way to the end of the driveway and up our ramp into the house, we didn't expect any problems from the bus driver or aide. He needs no assistance pushing his chair, and he had never once forgotten where the ramp and the door are. In fact, during the summer, he actually goes half a block, BY HIMSELF, to our neighborhood pool.

But apparently we were wrong. The bus driver refused to leave the street in front of our home until she 'saw' me or my oldest son there.

I tried explaining that this level of independence was something Ronnie would need as he transitioned from school to the work force. I tried explaining that he was perfectly capable of getting himself into the house. I even explained that someone was always at home waiting for him, but we wanted him to get used to being more self-sufficient. But to no avail...

This seems a touch discriminatory to me. Students without physical disabilities do not need parental escorts into the house at the end of each school day. So why should Ronnie?

Want to take any bets on how many emails it will take to resolve this issue???

Tell Me What's Right While Doing What's Wrong

Ahh, high school. Those years when teachers and staff try to mold young minds for the challenges of the future. A time of showing the difference between right and wrong. A time to hopefully build some compassion, some sense of justice, and to learn to live together peacefully.

Yea right...

What high school should not be, in my opinion, is preaching with a "do what I say not what I do" attitude. Yet it happens in ways both small and large. We have high school coaches videotaping naked girls in the locker rooms. We have female teachers having sex with young male students. We have school personnel being arrested for embezzlement. And we have this - arguably not as significant as the other things I just listed, but still showing a careless regard for both the law and the rights of others:



Mr. school employee/door repairman, you took the last handicapped-accessible parking space. No, you did not have the handicapped placard that gives you the right to park there. But yes, it was right in front of the building where you had to fix a sticky door. And yes, it saved you from toting your bag of tools (no bigger than a student's backpack) across the parking lot. But it meant my child had to get out of my car and into his wheelchair in that busy parking lot.

Thanks for making his life more difficult and less safe. And thanks for the wonderful message you sent to the other students at school. I'm sure that those students won't feel much remorse when they park in a handicapped spot. You showed them today that it is alright...

Thankful for Mr. Ralph

I'm thankful for many things during this holiday season - things both big and small. And, one of those things is that Ashley's morning school bus pickup has been changed.

For the first two years of high school, Ashley had a wonderful bus driver named Mr. Ralph. Mr. Ralph is a man of few words, but a man with eyes that reveal his inner heart of gold. He seldom smiles, but you could tell that he liked Ashley. He made many suggestions about how to make her bus ride more pleasant, and he rearranged his pickup schedule so I could make it to work on time.

But this year, even though Ashley was going to the same school, her bus driver and schedule changed, and since the start of school in September, I have been late to work every single day. I've learned though that trying to make a bus change at the start of the school year just doesn't work. The transporation office staff is stressed to the max, and can be downright rude sometimes. So, I let things go for a while.

I did finally call a few weeks back and asked if Ashley could be an earlier pickup. I didn't ask to change the bus or the driver, just that she be one of the first pickups instead of the last. This time the transportation office staff was more relaxed and worked hard to help me.

Instead of a shuffle of pickups for her original bus, they decided to change her bus, and lo and behold, it was back to Mr. Ralph's bus! Ashley and I were both so excited to see him the first day, and happy that his unsmiling face but warm eyes will be what she sees each morning.

AND....And...I made it to work on time finally! Both my boss and I are thankful for that!!

Phillips or Flat Head?

I’ve written many times before about my worries for my children with significant disabiltiies as they move to adulthood. It seems that each year older that I get, the more I worry. Go figure!

The school system, with enough prodding, will do a passable job of preparing children with significant disabilities for the workforce. I’m not sure they do enough, but I believe there is only so far they can be pushed (the school system, not my children). The school system also concentrates a lot on things they label ‘life skills’. That usually means cooking and cleaning up but not much more.

A lot of the preparation for true life skills comes from parents. And with my children, I have concentrated on some of the more common skills – being able to do laundry, make a bed, set a table, run the vacuum. But there are so many other things – absolutely critical things, in my opinion – that we often forget. So here is the start of my list of those other things, and I would like to know if you have things that should be added to the list.



I want my children to:

• Know how to use a plunger to unstop a toilet


• Know that if the water to the house if unavailable (which has happened to us during hurricanes), a toilet can be flushed by dumping a bucket of water into the toilet bowl


• Be able to flip a blown circuit breaker and maybe even replace a fuse


• Know how to make a good friend and how to keep that friend


• Know how to be a good host or hostess when people visit


• Understand what a plumber does, what an electrician does, and what a handyman does


• Know how to hang wet laundry to dry (in case the dryer breaks), hang a picture, and hang up clothes


• Understand how to kill a bug rather than drowning it in pesticide


• Know the purpose of a door’s peephole and how to work the home alarm system


• Know how and how often to change the batteries in smoke detectors and carbon monoxide detectors


• Know how to sign for a package


• Know how to locate a pharmacy, drop off a prescription, and then pick up and pay for that prescription


• Know how to use bleach appropriately and know which cleaning solutions to never ever mix


• Understand when and how to use a PERS (Personal Emergency Response System)


• Know what to do if they are in a car accident or witness a car accident


• Know how, when and who to ask for help


• Understand how to dress and act in a courtroom, at the theatre, and in church


• Know that they can challenge what a doctor, nurse or other healthcare provider tells them


• Know how to plant flowers and a vegetable garden, and then how to harvest those things


• Know how to paint a picture, a wall and their nails


• Know what to do if they get a small cut or scrape


• Know what things they want in a lifetime spouse or partner, or even a roommate


• Understand that having a pet requires attention and responsibility on a daily basis


• Know how to use a screwdriver and the difference between the types of screwdrivers

OK, I’ll stop there for now. Please add as you see fit!

Buyer Beware

Have you ever had this happen? If so, I would love to know how you handled it.

IEPs are almost always held in the Spring in my school district. The planning is for the next school year. Ronnie's IEP was held in May, and his teacher last year, a teacher for the Deaf, as well as the Chair of the Hearing Impaired department, tried very hard to convince me to move Ronnie from our neighborhood high school to another school where the district was trying to consolidate services for Deaf students. In addition, the teacher said she was also moving to that school.

The other school was not that far away from us, and Ronnie said he wanted to go (although I believe there had been a little coercing before the meeting). And, his signing friends were also moving, I was told. The move was going to make my life just a tad bit harder, but if it was in Ronnie's best interest, I would certainly do it.

So I made the decision that he could move. We hammered out the rest of the IEP - heavy on academics, not so heavy on functional skills because I believe it is my job as his parent to focus on those things.

Fast forward to September.

Ronnie starts at his new school and I find out that the teacher for the Deaf is not going to be at that school, and the Chair of the Department has retired. And I'm not so sure that this is a good placement. But Ronnie says he likes the new school. So far the homework that he brings home is heavy on functional skills and light on academics. And, he is only one of three students in his classroom.

Making a change at this point back to his previous school would be difficult. He is starting to make friends, especially girl friends (!) at the new school, and I'm not sure moving him again so quickly would be a good thing. But something needs to be different.

I'm thinking I need to call an IEP meeting and share these concerns with the school team. What do you think?

We Shall See

Apparently I ruffled some feathers last week with all my calls and emails about school bus schedules. On Friday, I got a call from the head of transportation and one from the director of special ed. The special ed director even offered compensatory services for the time that Ronnie has missed by being at least 30 minutes late for school each morning.

After I arrived home from work, I got a phone call from the second in command of transportation. That gentleman said that beginning Tuesday, Ronnie would have a different bus and a different schedule. The new schedule has him being picked up at 8:17am.

Of course, the first bus had a promised schedule of 8:20 am so I guess I will have to wait and see if the new bus will actually be on time. I sure hope so...

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The weekend was difficult with all the 9-11 tributes. I watched hours of shows, almost as much as I watched when the events were originally unfolding. My grief and sadness was just a raw as it was then, and the tears just as plentiful.

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When I wasn't watching the 9-11 tributes, I was absorbed by my own little marathon of The Good Wife. I never watched the show when it was on TV, but several months ago, I started watching season one on Netflix. After just a couple of shows, I was hooked. I couldn't wait for season two to come out on DVD, which it did this weekend. Now I just have to get in 16 shows before season three starts this coming Sunday!!

The Clock Is Ticking

It’s the end of the first week back at school, and for the three of my children still in the public school system, almost everything has gone very well. But, the one thing that hasn’t gone well is very very not well.

In my town, high school starts at 8:45 am. The past two years, Ronnie and Ashley went to the same high school and were picked up by the same accessible bus. The bus driver knew my family well, and understood that as a single parent, getting to work on time was important. He changed his route schedule just a bit to pick Ronnie and Ashley up first. That allowed me to get to work on time. Not so this year….

The problems started the Friday before school was scheduled to start. As I always do, I called transportation to verify that I still had the correct bus numbers and schedules. Ronnie moved to a new high school this year, so I was dealing with two bus numbers and schedules.

When I called, the transportation office gave me the bus number and pickup time for Ashley – bus number 1980 and pickup at 8:16 am. That was going to be a problem by preventing me arriving at work by 8:30 am. But, I figured I would let the transportation issues settle in the first week, and then I would make my request for an earlier pickup.

Next, I asked for Ronnie’s bus information. “Ronnie who?”, they said. Even though his IEP denotes special transportation with pickup and drop off at home, there was no record of that need. I tried to reason – I called the school teacher and principal – I got angry – and then I drew a line in the sand. Ronnie would not be at school the first day unless someone picked him up.

Perhaps as retribution for that line in the sand, on Monday (Labor Day) I got a call saying bus 300 would pick him up at 8:20 am. Again, that’s a problem for me getting to work on time, but again, I decided to let things ride for the first week.

Here’s how the first week went:

Tuesday – Ashley picked up at 8:30am, 14 minutes late. Ronnie picked up at 8:55 am, 35 minutes late and 10 minutes past the start of school. Once he arrived at the school, I estimate he was about 30 minutes late for school.

Wednesday – Ashley picked up at 8:25 am, 9 minutes late. Ronnie picked up at 8:50 am, 30 minutes late, and again, late for school.

Thursday – Ashley picked up at 8:25 am, 9 minutes late. Ronnie picked up at 8:45 am, 30 minutes late and again, late for school.

I’ve called and emailed and whined and begged and been professional all the while. The only response I get from transportation is that they are discussing to see if there are any other options.

Well, school district, here’s an option – you are not providing services as outlined in Ronnie’s IEP since he is late getting to school each day. I feel a state Department of Education complaint brewing, and compensatory time building.