Doing It Right

Want an example of inclusion at its best? Watch the Amazing Race on Sunday nights.



This season’s race brings back racers from previous seasons – teams who did not win, but came very close to winning. And, two of my favorite teams are back!

Luke is Deaf and is racing with his mother, Margie. Zev is racing with his brother, Justin. Zev is diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome.

The really glorious thing? Not one iota of special attention is given to either team. They race, they stumble, they argue, they laugh, they look silly – just like every other team in the race. The show doesn’t spotlight them, advertising their ‘token’ disabled person. The host makes no big deal about it, but does impress me greatly just because he learned some sign language to be able to communicate with Luke. And that’s all the host does – communicate. He doesn’t draw attention to his signing – he doesn’t make a spectacle of Luke. He doesn’t comment about Zev’s Autism. They are two teams racing, just like all the other teams.

Luke and Zev are both funny young guys. Luke finally gets a chance to drive, and is all smiles as he gives a big thumbs up to the camera. He talks about one of the other teams – two beautiful young women – and calls then his race girlfriends.

When one of the challenges faced by all teams is to draw on their inner artist, Justin says Zev will be great at that because he is artistic. Zev says, “Autistic too!” The two young men cut up constantly and you can see in Justin’s eyes how much he admires and loves his brother.

I am thrilled to see people with disabilities on a mainstream television show where their disability is not the focus of the show. This, in my opinion, is inclusion at its best.

Snakes Make Good Pets

I’ve always known that my son, Corey, lacks social skills. He joined my family when he was twelve years old, and I am sure that his traumatic earlier life as well as his Aspergers contributes to that lack. But it seems to be getting worse. Is that possible or typical for a person who is diagnosed with Aspergers?

Corey is now 17 years old. Although he comes home and talks about his friends at school, I know from other children there that he really doesn’t have any friends. I’m not sure he realizes that often the other students are making fun of him even as they pretend to be his friend for some bullying purpose or another.

No one ever telephones him. He never calls anyone. He is never invited to a party or other outings. Other kids don’t wave or say goodbye as he gets off the school bus each afternoon.

Even around the house and the family he seems to be withdrawing more and more the older he gets.

I’ve fought my school district to provide social skills training – they continue to refuse. I’ve sent Corey to a social skills support group, but after a few visits he doesn’t want to go anymore. If I make him, he will refuse to participate. My older son continues to model appropriate social skills, and goes out of his way to help Corey, but all Corey will do is copy everything Chip does – not because he ‘gets’ the social aspect but because he thinks it makes him ‘cool’ to be like Chip.

I’ve gotten Corey to volunteer during the summer so that he can be around other kids and other adults. He attends the deafblind support group meetings we have at our house and at other locations. But still I see no progress.

Sure, Corey will speak in a group of new people as if he is an expert on a particular subject. He even does so with such an air of confidence that it is almost believable until you realize that the subject on which he is speaking has not even been mentioned by the group he is around.

For example, a group of his high school peers might be talking about the latest movie they all saw. Corey will speak up loudly that snakes make good pets, and will go on to list the reasons why. You can see his peers glance back and forth at each other and soon move away from him.

So, is it typical that the lack of social skills becomes more obvious as a child gets older, or are the lack of skills even getting worse? This is a scary considering that in just over a year, Corey should be moving into the job market. How is he going to be able to get and hold down a job?

He can’t stay home forever, and I feel so bad that I don’t seem to be helping him.

Floortime - Reaching Beyond Autism?

My sixteen year old son, Corey, is diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome. While to most people he would just seem a little quirky, I do have some major concerns about some of the issues that affect him. I don’t have a problem with his obsession on certain subjects – the weather, for instance – but I do worry about his lack of social skills and his difficulties with relating to his peers. So when I ran across an article in the NY Times last week that talked about a special school for teenagers with autism spectrum disorders, I was very interested. In fact, I posted a blog on the 5 Minutes For Special Needs site about the article, and I asked readers for their opinions.

The NY Times article and several other articles I found in my research led me to believe that the teaching technique was relatively new. Readers told me otherwise. And, most readers spoke of using the technique, called DIR/Floortime, with much younger children, not teenagers. Yet the NY Times article raved about the success of using Floortime with teenagers.



So, I was still left confused and wondering if Floortime would be an approach to consider. Then I got an email that really cleared things up for me. The person who sent the email is diagnosed with Asperger’s herself, and in addition to the information in her email, she has also sent me some other articles. I’ve included the text of her email (with her permission) below, and based on her comments, I believe I will pursue Floortime as an option for Corey.

Hi. My name is 'Ekie'. I was reading 5 Minutes For Special Needs and you asked for people to tell you what they know about floortime. I was intrigued by your post because you are the mother of a teenage Aspie. I am 24 years old and I have a non-verbal LD/Aspergers syndrome.

Last year in graduate school I took a class called Introduction to Floortime and I fell totally in love with the whole idea. I now say that I am a total Floortime convert. I just love, love, LOVE it. The whole idea of it is so very right, as compared to more traditional methodologies such as ABA, applied behavior analysis. You know how adults with autism say how much they hated ABA? Well, they will not be saying this about floortime.

The basic premise of floortime is to get the child to recognize that 1, I am a human 2, you are a human also and 3, these human people are useful, kind, and fun. It works to build an emotional connection first and foremost, to get the child to *want* to please you because they get an emotional reward for it - not an external reward as with ABA. Often in the beginning this is a lot of imitation and just going with the flow, but at the same time forcing the child to interact with you. For example if the child is running around the room you might stand in the path of where they are running so they have to go around you. Or if they are lining up blocks over and over you might insert a new block that goes in a different direction. There are a lot of levels - I think they go up to 12 or even higher - and only once a child has mastered one level (and I can't remember the levels enough to explain them properly, sorry) you go on to the next, but you keep reinforcing all the old stuff they learn.

Unfortunately the Floortime/DIR (Developmental, Individual, Relationship-based) is kind of a monopoly controlled by Stanley Greenspan. Getting certified in it is a very hard process because they only do the trainings in CA. I took my course via my university. They do classes for parents and professionals, but they are mostly geared towards working with younger children.

I can't quite explain my feelings about floortime except to say that it makes me all warm and fuzzy inside, unlike ABA, which makes me feel like people are training their kids like dogs or seals are trained. Floortime is completely child-centered, and it is about using the child's strengths that they already have to teach them new things. It acknowledges the inherent dignity and abilities of all kids no matter how young.

Thank you, Ekie, for your comments!