Thankful Thursday

Yes, yes, I know - it's Friday, not Thursday. Having Monday off this week has thrown my whole schedule off. But regardless of the day of the week, I am still thankful...

• that those frozen Weight Watcher's pizzas taste as good as they do


• that Ashley is finally recovering from the very nasty cold she had last weekend


• for the striking red-headed woodpecker who perches in the big maple tree right outside my window and serves as my alarm clock every morning


• that I was able to talk to my beautiful 19 year old niece on the phone last night. Well actually, I listened while she talked, but it was still a great time.


• that Corey was accepted as a teen volunteer (volunteen, as his nametag says) at our local library for the summer


• for Visine and non-red eyes despite the massive pollen problems we have had this Spring


• for parents like Vickie Beatty who fight the long battles for accessibility.


• that I was able to experience the brilliant humor of Harvey Korman. May he rest in peace.


• for how much better food tastes when it is cooked on the grill


• that when shoe shopping, I find a shoe I really like the looks of, AND, it fits like a glove when I try it on

Brett's video

Here is the video of Brett - the young man I wrote about this morning. Thank you, Esbee, for finding this for me!!!

Self-Advocacy Supreme

Brett Branford is a young man with piercing, intelligent brown eyes. He has a smile that wraps itself around everyone in his universe, and the joy that seems inherent in him is transfused into others.

Brett auditioned for So You Think You Can Dance, and was featured on the show last night.. As he stood in line in the cold Salt Lake City weather, he jumped around and did some karate moves to keep warm. When it was finally his turn to take the stage, the other people who had been standing in line with him stood up, high fived with him, and yelled words of encouragement.

Brett said ‘Cue the music’, and started his dance routine, a routine that contained a strong flavor of martial arts and an energy that made me tired just watching. When his audition was over, the head judge, Nigel Lythgoe, “You want honesty, right?” Brett nodded and said “Yes”. Nigel went on to say “You are a really good mover and have excellent musicality. If you were in a club, you would do brilliantly and all the women there would want to dance with you. But, you’re just not good enough for this competition.” The other two judges agreed, but told Brett that he should keep dancing and not give up. The other competitors waiting in the auditorium for their auditions stood and cheered – louder than I’ve heard any cheering since this season’s auditions began.

Just before he left the stage, Brett asked to say one more thing “real quick”, in his words. Without waiting for an answer, he said “I wanted to be here to prove that people with disabilities can have a normal life and can live it.” The crowd cheered even louder than before!

Brett has Down Syndrome. He is a global ambassador for the Special Olympics, and in his mother’s words, is a self-taught advocate. And based on my short glimpse into his life, I believe he is one of the finest self-advocates I have ever seen. He was articulate, more so than some of the other non-disabled competitors. He radiated passion and intelligence, and his grace and style had everyone in the auditorium smiling. The pride his mother felt glimmered in her tears as she watched her son making a difference and touching people’s lives. And he was a damn fine dancer!

As Brett and his mother walked away from the audition location, Brett’s final words were “It’s not about winning or losing, it’s about having fun.” It was obvious that Brett was having fun, and in my eyes, he is indeed a winner.

And once again, thanks to the producers and judges of So You Think You Can Dance. I hope others will follow your example of respect for the talents inherent in all people.

Color Me Happy

Several leading child welfare groups Tuesday urged an overhaul of federal laws dealing with transracial adoption, arguing that black children in foster care are ill-served by a "colorblind" approach meant to encourage their adoption by white families. In fact, some of the largest adoption advocacy organizations (North American Council on Adoptable Children, the Child Welfare League of America, the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption and the National Association of Black Social Workers) are requesting that another look be taken at adoption of African American children into White families. I don’t think I agree with their statements.

Yes, more minority adoptive families need to be recruited, and yes, money needs to be spent on this effort. Yes, transracial adoptive families need training and counseling, not just before a child of another race is placed in their family, but as an ongoing program. Yes, White families need to be sensitive to the cultural past and present of their minority children, and yes, they should take an active stance to make sure the child maintains ties to that culture. But no, children, no matter what their race, should not languish in foster care waiting for the ‘perfect’ family to adopt them.

Of my four children, three are adopted. I am Caucasian, as is my birth son. Ashley is of Italian heritage. Jessica is Latino, and Corey is Native American. Ashley, Jessica and Corey had negative experiences in foster care. Abuse, both physical and sexual – exposure to drugs and alcohol – lack of services to address their special needs – these are just a small sampling of what they experienced in foster care. Had their social workers been holding out for the perfect family (2 parent, same race), all three may have still been in foster care, or worse yet, institutionalized. My family may not be perfect in some people’s eyes, but my children have all flourished and have grown into remarkable young men and women.

I think it is time to set aside race as an issue in raising happy, healthy children. Training, counseling and sensitivity are definitely needed, but so are permanent homes – regardless of the color of one’s skin, regardless of the texture of one’s hair, regardless of the shape of one’s eyes, and regardless of one’s abilities or lack thereof.

Here are links to two of the articles which appeared on the news yesterday:

MSNBC Article

CNN Article

The Tribe Has Spoken

Alex Barton is 5 years old. Last week he was voted out of his kindergarten class because his fellow students felt he was "disgusting" and "annoying". The classroom teacher suggested the vote - the school prinicpal supported the teacher.

Sound unbelievable? Unfortunately, you and I know it is quite believable. Here is a link to a newspaper story:

St. Lucie teacher has students vote on whether 5-year-old can stay in class and make sure you read some of the comments left on the newspaper article ... talk about disgusting and annoying ...

And many, many disability bloggers are writing about this issue. The best, in my opinion, and one which has links to many other blogs is here:

Odd One Out

You will find suggestions for expressing your feelings about all this on the Odd One Out blog. I strongly suggest you do express yourself. Tomorrow it could be your child or mine...

The Miniature Earth

My son, Chip, told me about a website that he found very interesting. When I visited it myself, I understood his interest. The Miniature Earth Project asks the question, "If we could turn the population of earth into a small community of 100 people and keep the same proportions that we have today, what would it look like?"

Also from the website, "The idea of reducing the world’s population to a community of only 100 people is very useful and important. It makes us easily understand the differences in the world.

There are many types of reports that use the Earth’s population reduced to 100 people, especially in the Internet. Ideas like this should be more often shared, especially nowadays when the world seems to be in need of dialogue and understanding among different cultures, in a way that it has never been before.
The text that originated this webmovie was published on May 29, 1990 with the title “State of the Village Report”, and it was written by Donella Meadows, who passed away in February 2000. Nowadays Sustainability Institute, through Donella’s Foundation, carries on her ideas and projects."

A visit to the website will be well worth your time. One of the facts I found most interesting was that out of 100 people, 9 would be disabled. That means almost 10% of the earth's population is disabled? If so, we the members and advocates of that community should have the power to make some major changes for the better.

Blind Dancer

Since Dancing with the Stars and American Idol have ended their seasons, my newest reality show obsession is So You Think You Can Dance. It’s almost a combination of DWTS and AI. Instead of trying to make dancers out of people who have never danced before, SYTYCD starts with real dancers – at least once they pare down the auditions to the best of the bunch. And like AI, only one person wins at the end. The dancers featured in the show are serious about their trade. The ones who make it to the final shows are incredible athletes and wonderful dancers. But one of the young people auditioning last night made the judges and viewers think twice about what it means to be a real dancer.

I don’t remember the young woman’s name, but she was easy to spot in the audition line because of her white cane. She was blind. Diagnosed with retinitis pigmentosa, she had gradually been losing her sight, and was now at the point where she needed either a cane or a sighted guide. Yet she was going to try out for So You Think You Can Dance.

She was escorted to the stage by her sighted guide. She was built like a dancer. She moved like a dancer. She had the determined look of a dancer. And, she danced her audition routine relatively well. She didn’t have quite the refined technique of some of the other dancers, but there was no doubt she had participated in dance instruction and she danced with all the feelings rooted in her heart from the tauntings of the differences of her youth. I was very interested in how the judges would talk to her after her audition.

The judges, Nigel Lythgoe, Mary Murphy and Mia Michaels, all have an extensive background in some aspect of dance. They know what they are talking about and they can recognize talent easily. But they can also be very abrasive to the contestants at times, especially if the contestant is different or really a bad dancer. So I expected the worst after the young blind woman’s dance. But the worst didn’t happen.

The judges were very quiet for a moment, obviously moved by the passion of the young dancer. You could almost see their brains at work trying to figure out what to say. And the first things they all said were dance critiques and nothing else. They set aside the young woman’s differences, and focused on her dance skills, and I believe this is exactly what the young woman wanted. After explaining to her that her skills needed more refinement before she could be considered for the show (and I believe they were accurate in their assessments), you could tell they had more questions – questions about her blindness and her desire to dance despite her disability. They asked those questions in a very sincere and sensitive manner. I had no feelings that they were patronizing her, no feelings that pity was foremost in their minds. They were curious – they asked questions – and they were obviously moved by her passionate answers.

As the young woman was escorted off the stage by her sighted guide, disappointment could obviously be seen on her face, but so could determination and pride. This young woman accomplished was she set out to do. She was treated like every other contestant, and she left with constructive criticism received and her head held high.

I applaud the judges for they actions, and I applaud the young woman for not letting go of her dreams.