Saying It Out Loud

I'm going to say something out loud here that I've been whispering in my mind for a while now.

I whispered because I was afraid people would judge me, call me crazy, shake their heads and never visit my blog again. I'm pretty sure that's what the people in my non-blog land will do. But if there is anything I have learned in my many years on this earth, it's that I can't let other people's opinions mold my decisions. That's easier said than done sometimes, but with time I am finding it easier to travel my own path.

I want to adopt another child.

Don't bother calling the men in white coats. Trust me, this has been a decision long in the making, and one which I have thought and prayed about for a very long time. I know some, if not most, will call me crazy, but my heart says otherwise, and right now I am listening to my heart.

I don't have a specific child in mind. I haven't really even started looking hard, but I feel led in this direction, a leading that was similar to what I felt with all my other children.

I want a child with medical issues. Caring for such a child is where my strengths lie. I would especially like to find a child that lives in an institution, a child that needs to know the true meaning of family and home, not staff and facilities. That type of child is not easy to find. When a social worker places a child in a facility, they usually do so because they feel there is no other option, and that the only way the child will survive is to be in such a setting. I just want the chance to tell them Ashley's story, and then hopefully they will change their minds.

Ashley was destined for an institution. I was the only person who expressed interest in adopting her, and even then, I had to work very hard to convince her social worker that Ashley would be better off in a family instead of a facility. And I was correct. Ashley has flourished, not just survived, in our family. Without going into details which will make me cry, Ashley would be a very, very different person had she been placed in an institution as a baby.

So there - I've said it for all the blogging world to hear. Who knows what the future holds, but I hope it means another child will join my family.