Monday, February 17, 2014


Last week, I wrote about children from the foster care system lacking motivation. There is also another trait I have noticed, at least in two of my children, and I wondered if you had also.

The two sons I have adopted, Corey and Ronnie, share a similar trait of having to always be the best, or at least trying to convince everyone, including themselves, that they are the best. Ronnie, for example, gets pouty if he doesn't score the most points in a wheelchair basketball game. He also seems to get angry if another team member plays a better game than he. Corey will do his best, even going as far as stretching the truth, to convince everyone he knows more about a particular subject than anyone else. His opinion, his knowledge have to be accepted as truth or like Ronnie, he can get very quiet and pouty.

I haven't noticed this trait in my girls, but I believe that is related their developmental delays. Or could it be a "boy" thing? I have never seen this trait in my birth son, Chip, but I have seen it in other children that have been adopted from the foster care system or from abroad.

Is it a fear that if they are not the best, they will be abandoned yet again? Is it an attempt to convince themselves and others of their worthiness to exist, especially to exist as a part of a family? Is it a search for love and acceptance?

What do you think, and have you also noticed this trait in adopted children?

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