Spoiled?

Do you think your child with special needs is spoiled? If so, what is your definition of spoiled, and who is doing the spoiling?

Someone made the comment to me the other day that Ashley was probably spoiled rotten at school. I don’t know if that is true or not, but I do know that Ashley is quite strong-willed and likes getting her way. Couple that with the fact that she is stinking cute, and yes, she may get spoiled a bit at school.

But then I started thinking – do I spoil her? Well, I do buy cupcakes every week so she can have one for dessert with her dinner. I’ve always rationalized that because it is the only sweet that she will eat – no candy, cookies, ice cream, etc. – that it’s really not spoiling her that much.

And yes, she is very particular about her clothes, especially shoes, and yes, she does have 14 pairs of Converse high top sneakers, but again, they are the only shoes she will keep on. And that has been the case since she was two years old. So is that spoiling her?

She does get disciplined if discipline is necessary. She doesn’t always get her way at home, although because she has so few demands, it might seem like she does. So I don’t know if I spoil her or not.

I do remember something that my former mother-in-law told me one time. She said that you can’t spoil a child with too much love. Too many things? Yes. Too much love? No.

So, I don’t think I spoil Ashley, but I do know that I love her from here to beyond. If she is spoiled from too much love, I believe I can live with that!

It Just Gets Better

Remember that little water leak I told you about? Well, this should be the last day of the great dry out. The contractor came by last Friday to take a look. He hasn't given me a complete estimate yet, but he did say that once he gets started, it should take about 2 weeks to complete.

He also said that submitting the estimate to the insurance company and getting their approval could also take a week.

So, we've been out of commission for a week and half already. Then we add a week for the insurance company, and two weeks for the contractor, and for over a month Ashley will have to sleep with me. And that means little to no sleep for me.

It just keeps getting better....

The Case For Not Mutilating

One of the bloggers that I visit regularly is "Single Dad / Disabled Daughter." Although I disagree as often as I agree with what he writes, I like that his posts make me think differently. They challenge me to see an issue from more than one side, to consider points of view that at first seem abhorent to me. But the bottom line is - I have an immense amount of respect for him and the way he advocates for his son and daughter.

Single Dad recently had an article posted in Psychology Today magazine. In the article, he discusses the "Ashley Treatment", a subject I have written about several times.

It's well worth your time to check out the article, "The Case For Not Mutilating Your Child."

Tequila at School?

Have you heard the country music song titled, "Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off?" It's about a woman who goes out partying and everything is fine unless she drinks tequila. If she drinks tequila, first she loses her shoes....then her earrings...then her jacket....and well, you get the idea.



I have to wonder if Ashley's high school is serving her tequila.

The first morning of school, I received am email from the teacher telling me that Ashley's shoes were rubbing her feet because she didn't have any socks on. I told the teacher that Ashley got on the bus with shoes AND socks that morning.

Then, when Ashley arrived home and I was helping her change out of her clothes, I noticed that she didn't have any underwear on.

The socks mystery has been solved - Ashley took her shoes and socks off on the bus, but the bus aide chose not to put her socks back on with her shoes. They handed me her socks this morning when they came to pick her up. I told the bus driver that she should not be allowed to take her shoes and socks off on the bus, and that she understands the word "NO" quite well. The drives scoffed and said, "yea she does but she still does what she wants." I told him that was unacceptable, and that I assumed there was an aide on the bus to help with such situations. He scoffed again. (I won't describe the aide in detail but will share this, it takes the aide 10 minutes to step off the bus, lower the ramp, tell Ronnie to get on the ramp, raise the ramp, and then secure the ramp door. 10 MINUTES!!!)

The underwear mystery is not solved.

Guess that was some good tequila....

Special Exposure Wednesday

It just gets better and better. First I thought it was just a little water leak. Now I'm told that walls and ceilings have to come down. And today? Today the room had to be sealed because there may be lead paint....

I'm not handling all this well.

Hmmmm.....

Well, it is the morning of the first day of school and I haven't heard from a bus driver. Will Ashley and Ronnie get picked up this morning? Will the bus be a wheelchair bus? Will the school transportation folks be glad to hear from me?

Time will tell.....

UPDATE - Mid-morning

I began my calls to the school transportation office about 7am. Although the phone was answered three times, three times I was mysteriously disconnected. Finally on the fourth call, I was told a bus number and pickup time.

And lo and behold, the bus did actually show up and it was only 6 minutes late. I think that is a new first day of school record.

The bus driver was somewhat familiar to me, and he seemed to recognize Ashley. The aide - OMG - I wonder what retirement home they recruited him from. He had to lower the wheelchair ramp, make sure Ronnie was positioned correctly, raise the ramp, and then close the ramp door. The only took 10 minutes!

I was late for work and probably will be the rest of this school year.

Now, I wonder how the afternoon bus drop off will go....????

The 1500th, The Disaster

Today's post marks my 1500th post! Who knew I had so much to say?

I had hoped to make today a celebration - to highlight some of my favorite posts - to celebrate the friends I had met over the years of blogging - to commit to continue so that my children have a record of my thoughts.

But no - disaster had to strike, and I can't compose my mind enough to do all those things.

Last Tuesday, Ronnie comes and tells me that water is dripping in his closet. At first, I think he must be mistaken - there is no plumbing in the attic (I have a one story house). But after a few minutes, I realized that the part of my air conditioner that is in the attic has a drain pipe to take condensation outside the house. Except it wasn't going outside the house....

The air conditioner unit was pretty new. I just had it installed late last Spring. I immediately called the HVAC comnpany and they agreed to send someone over the next morning. I turned off the air conditioner to stop its sweat and start ours.

Once the repairman arrived and lumbered up to the attic, he pronounced that the drain pipe had been 'broken'. Heck, he even showed me the broken piece. Thing is, I'm not sure I believe him. No one had been in the attic since the unit was installed. I'm thinking, though I can't prove a thing, that the pipe was never connected, and the 'break' was just done to cover that up. Either it's that or I have some mighty strong critters having parties in my attic.

It is, however, a moot point since I can't prove a thing.

After the pipe was hooked up, I called my insurance company. I was still thinking we were just dealing with some wet carpet and maybe some repainting in Ronnie's closet. Well, armed with his trusty moisture gage, the water mitigation person my insurance company sent over told me that not only was Ronnie's closet very wet, but his adjoining walls and ceiling were also wet. Then he asked what was on the other side of Ronnie's wall. I told him it was Ashley's room. He checked that and it too is wet - almost half the room. Again, not completely understanding the impact of his words, I'm nodding and saying "OK". But then he hit me with something that turned that "OK" into "OMG".

He told me that both walls, both closets and both ceilings would have to be demolished and redone. And the sooner they could start, the better. He wanted everything out of both bedrooms by the next morning so they could bring in fans and a dehumidifier first, demolishing tools after that.

With a dazed look on my face, I told him that there was no way I could move both kids and all their belongings and medical equipment in one night. I would be lucky to get Ronnie moved. He left saying, "Just do the best you can do."

I got Ronnie moved by the next morning. The fans and humidifier came and have been running for three days now. Saturday, I moved Ashley into my room, and spread all her stuff all around the house. The only thing left in both bedrooms in the bed, and I have no where to put those if I am to leave a path wide enough for a wheelchair.

Now we wait for the demolition and for things to get put back together. In the meantime, my house looks like a hoarder's house, I'm getting no sleep because Ashley is in my room, and oh yea, school starts tomorrow and I have no idea where clothes, backpacks and lunch boxes are.

So - Happy 1500th post. May the next milestone be more of a celebration!