Thursday, October 20, 2011

Being the Meany

I don't want to tell my children with disabilities that they can't do something, but I'm finding that I have to sometimes.

Ronnie is scheduled to attend a basketball event at a college about 45 minutes from our home on Thursday night, a school night. He probably will not be home until at least 10am and then has to get up early the next morning.

He also has asked to go to the school homecoming football game Friday night, again not getting home until at least 10pm.

Saturday morning, we are scheduled as a family to drive to the mountains, about an hour away, to pick apples. It will be a long day.

Given his medical issues, I think trying to pack all those things in during the course of 36 to 48 hours will stress his health. He, of course, doesn't agree with me. But as the parent, the final decision rests with me.

I have told him that he can go to the basketball event, and that we will go as a family to the mountains, but he can't go to the football game. I believe he needs Friday night to rest and take care of himself.

As you may imagine, I am not his favorite person at the moment. How have others of you dealt with this? Kids his age (16), disabled or not, feel invincible. But they often do have health needs that require us to step in and make decisions. Any advice???


Lauren said...

Speaking as "the kid" here...

I'm 16 and have brittle bone disease, and there are loads of times where I, myself, know things just won't work. Ronnie, it seems, hasn't quite hit that self-awareness level. He's frustrated; he wants to be independent and just like every one else, but he'll learn it was for the best.

Michelle Morgan-Coole said...

I think the most we can do is model for them what they will have to learn for themselves some day ... that measure of self-awareness and insight that trumps the need and desire to do all the fun stuff everyone else is doing.

The Blue Jay has always been non-stop energy and if she had her way would engage in activities from 8 in the morning to 10 at night. And that was when she was 7! And she`s always let me know loud and clear when she doesn`t appreciate my input and limits but I am finally, on occasion, starting to see her recognize some of her own limits. It`s a slwo process though. And often a painful one. :(