Friday, April 25, 2014

The Other Side of The Door

You may have noticed that I haven’t been posting much recently.  Last week, I used the excuse that it was Spring Break, but this week, I have no such excuse.

I’m not sure exactly why I’m not posting.  Writer’s block?  Nothing important to say?  Too much other stuff going on in my life?  I’ve pondered that question for a couple of weeks now, and I do think I have an answer.

I seem to be facing a new door into my future life.  My children are not young anymore, and as such, I don’t have many school horror stories to share.  Their health has been relatively stable, so there’s not much on that front either.  There will always be stories about disability or accessibility nightmares we face, but I wonder if you may be tired of me sharing those.

What I do know is that the future on the other side of the door is going to look very different from our current life.  I will be facing the challenge of appropriate adult services for my children, and they will be facing something so vastly different than they have ever experienced.  People and friends are likely to be different.  Expectations will be different.  Locations and activities will be different.  And, the thing which frightens me the most – I will need to shore up plans for my children’s care in the event I am unable to continue to provide that.

I’ve overwhelmed with the newness and the unknown.  I’m exhausted from a work schedule which seems to grow more hectic each week.  I’m battling my own health issues as my lupus and rheumatoid arthritis are growing worse and my medication is helping less.

I don’t know that I need a break, but I do know that I need to ‘lighten the load’ a bit.  I need time to bring the future into focus, time to decide how to approach the challenges, time to even understand what most of the challenges will be.

I’m not going to stop blogging altogether, but I am going to slow down a bit.  Maybe when my life feels more together, I can get back to my 5-day-a-week schedule, but for now, I am going to write when I feel moved to do so.  That may be once a week or once every two weeks or maybe even three days in a row.  Hopefully my writing, whatever its schedule may be, will do as it has in the past – help me to center myself, support my children, take comfort in the wisdom of my readers, and assist me with finding the best route through this next phase in my life and my children’s lives.

I have been and always will be so very grateful to you, my dear readers.  I hope you won’t give up on me.  I hope we can stay virtual friends into the future.  I need you, and I hope in some very small way, you need me also.

Here’s to the future – a time of excitement and embracing the differences!

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