Older and Better

I find that I am becoming more of a homebody than ever. I never want to leave the house, even on the weekends. I do leave, of course, because things like groceries don't deliver themselves and because my kids need to be out in the community. But I am just so freaking tired of all the stares from people.

I don't know if people are staring more than usual, or if I am just more sensitive, or if as I get older I get less tolerant, but I do know that I just don't want to deal with it.

We had some errands to run this past Saturday - the sporting goods store to get lacrosse gear for Ronnie, the pet store to get Cooper a new toy - and then we had lunch at a local deli, a deli frequented by families. I lost count of the number of people who would just stop and stare as we went by. I don't mean just a sideways glance, but just a full stop and stare.

I live in an area of town that is a tad more affluent than some of the inner city areas. Others who live in this area are seemingly intelligent, well-heeled folks (based on their jobs, their clothes and their vehicles). But I swear, polite, positive behavior does not seem to come with education, money and big houses.

Parents stare, their children stare and are never corrected for it, shop people stare, waiters and waitresses stare, even police officers sometimes stare. But you know who almost never stares at my unique family - elderly people. Why is that? Do people just mellow as they get older? Have they seen so much in their lives that a beautiful young girl with only one eye and a handsome young man who uses a wheelchair and talks with his hands are nothing out of the ordinary for them? Or have they just learned tolerance and acceptance as they have aged?

I would like to know their magic formula, and then I would like to sprinkle that over the rest of 'humanity' (and I use that term loosely....).

We Shall See

Apparently I ruffled some feathers last week with all my calls and emails about school bus schedules. On Friday, I got a call from the head of transportation and one from the director of special ed. The special ed director even offered compensatory services for the time that Ronnie has missed by being at least 30 minutes late for school each morning.

After I arrived home from work, I got a phone call from the second in command of transportation. That gentleman said that beginning Tuesday, Ronnie would have a different bus and a different schedule. The new schedule has him being picked up at 8:17am.

Of course, the first bus had a promised schedule of 8:20 am so I guess I will have to wait and see if the new bus will actually be on time. I sure hope so...

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The weekend was difficult with all the 9-11 tributes. I watched hours of shows, almost as much as I watched when the events were originally unfolding. My grief and sadness was just a raw as it was then, and the tears just as plentiful.

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When I wasn't watching the 9-11 tributes, I was absorbed by my own little marathon of The Good Wife. I never watched the show when it was on TV, but several months ago, I started watching season one on Netflix. After just a couple of shows, I was hooked. I couldn't wait for season two to come out on DVD, which it did this weekend. Now I just have to get in 16 shows before season three starts this coming Sunday!!

Discerning

I know that it is often very difficult for our kids with severe disabilities to express their emotions in the usual ways. As parents, we learn to read their feelings. Even when they are infants, we learn the sound of a hungry cry versus a tired cry.

When our children are older, we can usually tell without their ever saying a word if they are angry or frustrated or happy. I'm not sure though that we can always figure out some of the more subtle feelings, being lonely, for example, or being worried about something.

I also wonder if our children with severe disabilities can read the emotions of other people. I believe they can even if they can't always put words to what they sense.

For example, I know that Ashley can tell when I am worried. I know she can tell when I feel bad but try to hide it. She can tell when I am sad or extremely stressed, and more often than not, her emotions will begin to match mine. That makes sense as it relates to the mother/child relationship.

But how about with the other people in their lives? Can our children tell if someone is truly being nice to them, or being nice to their face and making fun of them later? Can they distinguish the subtle emotions of others? If someone tells them that they love them, but as a parent, you know otherwise just from the other actions or words of that person, do you think our children can read that? Do our children understand pity, envy, and yes, even lies?

What do you think? Even if your children can't give voice to their emotions and the emotions of others, do you think they understand? I'm leaning towards an answer of 'YES'.