Older and Better

I find that I am becoming more of a homebody than ever. I never want to leave the house, even on the weekends. I do leave, of course, because things like groceries don't deliver themselves and because my kids need to be out in the community. But I am just so freaking tired of all the stares from people.

I don't know if people are staring more than usual, or if I am just more sensitive, or if as I get older I get less tolerant, but I do know that I just don't want to deal with it.

We had some errands to run this past Saturday - the sporting goods store to get lacrosse gear for Ronnie, the pet store to get Cooper a new toy - and then we had lunch at a local deli, a deli frequented by families. I lost count of the number of people who would just stop and stare as we went by. I don't mean just a sideways glance, but just a full stop and stare.

I live in an area of town that is a tad more affluent than some of the inner city areas. Others who live in this area are seemingly intelligent, well-heeled folks (based on their jobs, their clothes and their vehicles). But I swear, polite, positive behavior does not seem to come with education, money and big houses.

Parents stare, their children stare and are never corrected for it, shop people stare, waiters and waitresses stare, even police officers sometimes stare. But you know who almost never stares at my unique family - elderly people. Why is that? Do people just mellow as they get older? Have they seen so much in their lives that a beautiful young girl with only one eye and a handsome young man who uses a wheelchair and talks with his hands are nothing out of the ordinary for them? Or have they just learned tolerance and acceptance as they have aged?

I would like to know their magic formula, and then I would like to sprinkle that over the rest of 'humanity' (and I use that term loosely....).

Growing Remarkable Children

American Idol started a new season last night, and apart from all the non-singers that the show highlights purely to make fun of was a young lady who was quite spectacular. And, I don’t mean that she was a great singer (although she was).

This young lady was 16 years old and was one of nine children. The child born after her was a son with Down Syndrome. The parents decided that they wanted their son to have a companion like himself, so they adopted another child with Down Syndrome. And then, they went on to adopt two more sons with Down Syndrome.

The family was indeed amazing, but their daughter had such a positive spirit, an old soul in a young body. The judges all noticed it, and commented. She bowled them over with both her singing and her grace. And all that reminded me of my son, Chip.

Chip, like the young lady, is an old soul – a remarkable person, it seems, from the time he was born. And growing up with his sister, Ashley, has refined that soul and turned him into a very special man.

What do you think – does growing up with a sibling that has a disability leave a lasting, positive influence on your children without disabilities?

Self-Regulation

Our children grow and mature right before our eyes, but sometimes we might miss some of the small details. Ashley reminded me of one of those small details last Saturday!

As I mentioned in yesterday’s post, Saturday was the annual Dreamcatcher’s holiday party. The party was held at our house, which is a good size but not huge by any means. And we had a whole bunch of people packed in there! Even though we could have moved between several rooms, all the parents, all the children, and all the childcare workers ended up in our family room. Some sat on couches but most sat on the floor.

It was quite loud what with all the children and all the noisy toys turned on, and I was really interested to see how Ashley was going to handle that. When she was younger, five minutes of such a stimulating environment would have been all she could handle, and the result would have been a meltdown. But on Saturday, she sat right in the middle of the fun for two hours!

The amazing thing however came at the end of those two hours. Ashley got up, walked out of the family room and headed to the living room. In there, she stretched out on the couch with one of her vibrating toys and did a little of her ‘Stevie Wonder Stim’ – rolling her head from side to side.

She stayed there for the next hour, happy as could be, and as folks were leaving, she got up and was in a great mood.

She knew – she really knew – when she had enough of the stimulation. She knew – really knew – what to do to center herself again. Self-regulation of this sort is HUGE for a child with deafblindness, and shows real maturity and understanding on her part.

My little girl is becoming a fine young woman!