Avoiding The Holiday Meltdowns

Routine driven – obsessive compulsive – anal retentive…

Because my life and my family’s life is so dependent on routines, those adjectives are always applied to me. I don’t really mind because I have found over the last 15 or so years that predictable routines do help my children with special needs cope.

We get up at the same time each day. Breakfast, though not the same thing each day, does follow a predictable rotation. We follow a strict dinner, bath time and bed time schedule. We even run weekend errands at the same time each Saturday.

It works because it’s predictable – because there aren’t too many surprises for my children.

It works – except when it doesn’t. And the holidays are one of those times when it doesn’t. It’s very difficult to adhere to our routines when there are Christmas parties to attend, shopping to complete, and visits from relatives and friends. So, what do I do to make sure that the meltdowns are kept to a minimum when the unexpected becomes commonplace?

I try to insert some of the unexpected during other times of the year. I try to explain and give warnings about holiday events and how our routines may change. I try to find some extra downtime when events consume a large part of our days.

And so far, I have been pretty successful.

Ashley, the child most affected by a change in the predictable, has learned to find a quiet place and spend some time alone if her environment is getting too crazy. And with her, I try very hard to make sure she stays healthy during the holiday. Nothing makes an unpredictable routine even more difficult than being sick at the same time.

I feel like I need more tools in my toolbox though. What do you do with your children during the holidays to keep their stress levels manageable? Please share!

Pulling the Plugs

I always wonder during a thunderstorm if the lightning is finally going to hit our house because we have so many electrical ‘things’. There are of course, the lights, the TVs, the video games, and the stereo. I’ve lost count of the computers we have – ones from school, my son’s computer for college, his computer for home, his ‘old’ computer that he has set up as a server in the house, my home computer, my work computer. And we can’t forget the cell phones and the IPods and the kitchen small appliances.

See, we probably do suck way more than the average amount of electricity. But all that is going to change for a week in December.

As a family Christmas gift this year, we are UNPLUGGING our life. We have rented a cabin in the mountains, a cabin with no TV, no computers, and no cell phone service. The cabin is on the edge of a forest, and we are hoping that our neighbors will be bears and deer, instead of garbage trucks in the morning and motorcycles in the night. We will go to bed when we feel like it – get up when we feel like it – go for hikes in the woods – walk beside the lake on a freezing winter morning. We will cook soups and stews and sit around in flannel while we eat it. My boys will learn to light a fire in the fireplace, and how to set it up to keep warm during the night.

We will play card games and board games and maybe, just maybe, will sit around and talk!

And….I will not be blogging for that week - the week between Christmas and New Years. My commitment to my blog has been to always write every Monday through Friday, and I have done that for three years now. I think it is high time for a vacation!

Don’t you?

Today I am thankful for the technology that delivers electricity to our home, and for the ability to shut it all off!

Bad Mother?

I work in an extremely stressful job. It’s so stressful that my team keeps a blood pressure cuff in the supply closet just to be on the safe side. I’m not complaining (much), because at least I still have my job. So many state employees have been laid off this past year, that I do feel a little guilty complaining.

When my work day ends, I am so anxious to leave and get home. When I do get home, I am met by my children acting just like a pack of excited puppies puddling at my feet. And I’m not complaining (much) about that either. But, I really would like just five minutes to unwind, change clothes and shred the pressures of the office.

Instead, I am asked what’s for dinner – I hear about what happened at school – I get reports from Amy, Ashley’s aide – and I listen to cats whining to get food.

I really do want to hear those things. I am so grateful that my children do share the happenings of their day with me. I’m thrilled that they are happy to see me each evening.

But I just want five minutes…five short minutes.

Does that make me a bad mother?

Today I am thankful that my children like me, really like me.