The Good News

Today I decided to share several 'good news' stories. Monday, the story will not be so good. So enjoy today!!

This first video comes from my blogger friend, Esbee, at Life In Forsyth. Like her, I am used to seeing one interpreter in church, but nothing like this - a CHOIR of signers!



The next story comes from my own home town. As I mentioned in this past Monday's blog, the circus was in town. One morning, prior to the first show of the day, the circus folks invited children with visual impairments for a 'touch tour'. Read the story and watch the video linked below, and you will see what the tour meant for the children!

A Big Top With A Big Heart

And finally, have you heard of the Grottoes? Here is an excerpt from their website:

The Grottoes of North America Humanitarian Foundation is a 501 (c) (3) nonprofit organization to help bring "Special Smiles" to children with special needs by providing much-needed dental care for them. The program helps cover the costs of dental treatment, including hospital and anesthesia costs when needed, for children with Cerebral Palsy, Muscular Dystrophy (and related neuromuscular disorders), Organ Transplant recipients or those with Mental Retardation.

Even if your child has dental insurance, the program can act as a second insurance, often picking up co-pays or other expenses not covered by your primary insurance.

Check out the contact page, select your state from the drop down box and you can see if there is a representative in your area. But even if there isn’t, this organization can assist, and their website will tell you how.

I hope you have a great weekend and find more 'good news' along the way.

Thankful Thursday

My Thankful Thursday post is late going up today. Why? I’m having a tough time concentrating on ‘thankful’ instead of ‘frustrated’.

I’m frustrated with my job – way too much to do in way too little time, and unfortunately the way too much to do keeps growing. I need a balance in my life and finding that balance in light of the ever growing workload is difficult.

I’m frustrated with our foster care system where decisions impacting the future of a small child are made by people who have never been parents and who have little to no clue about advocacy, medical issues, or support systems that have been present in society for more years than I have been alive (and that’s a lot of years!).

I’m frustrated with a school system that really doesn’t care no matter what flowery words they use in their mission statement. I’m frustrated that the same battles happen every single year.

But, I’m trying to convince myself that on a day like today, one filled to the brim of my soul with frustration, is exactly the kind of day where I need to list things for which I am thankful. So, for what it’s worth, here goes. Today I am thankful…

• For French fries loaded with salt and pepper


• For the warm, snuggly, cocoon-like feeling I experience each morning before having to drag myself out of bed


• For Miss Amy and all her wonderful ideas on how to put fun into Ashley’s life


• For children who smile at me as they walk past holding their parent’s hand


• For the gentle feel of Ashley’s hands on my cheeks as she moves my face to be inches away from hers


• For drivers who are polite and not impatient


• That Jessica will be coming home for a visit this Saturday


• That my son, Chip, smiled and asked me if I had a nice nap when I fell asleep on the couch last night watching TV


• For the blooms just starting to erupt on the Camellia bush by my front door


• That my children and I are well and happy almost all the time

Special Exposure Wednesday

This is spirit week at Ashley's school, and yesterday was 'Pairs Day'. The always creative and full of fun Ms. Amy made Flintstone's costume for herself and Ashley. Ashley was Fred and Amy was Wilma! The only sad part about all this??? Some of the middle school students had no idea who Fred and Wilma Flintsone were...




Be sure to check out all the other Special Exposure Wednesday pics at 5 Minutes For Special Needs!

Due Process - Part 2

I started my story of due process last week, and this week I will continue. It's surprising to me how relating the story is getting me on edge again. The issue is resolved, but I'm finding the reliving of the process rather difficult...

Filing For Due Process

Deciding to file due process against my school district was not an easy decision to make. I knew that an attorney was likely to cost me a second mortgage on my house. I had heard about the bully school attorney, and how he had reduced other mothers to tears in front of the hearing officer. I read the statistics about how school districts prevail in due process 98% of the time. And I knew that trying to fight another, really big, battle along with being a single parent to four children (and three of those with disabilities), a full-time computer engineer and maintaining my various commitments to boards and advisory councils was going to be tough. But I didn’t realize just how tough.

I contacted my state’s protection and advocacy organization – called the Virginia Office for Protection and Advocacy (VOPA). They reviewed the issues and decided to take the case at no charge. And while I knew the school district attorney was a bully, I have never met a stronger, more committed, more intelligent attorney that my VOPA attorney.

Jonathan, the VOPA attorney, filed the necessary paperwork to initiate due process and told me to be strong. A hearing officer was assigned, and the attorneys and the hearing officer began to talk. Mediation was suggested as a first step. I had very little hope that mediation would result in anything meaningful because I felt like all the steps leading to due process had been mediation. But, I went through the motions.

The mediation meeting was held the school district central offices (home team advantage, perhaps they were thinking). The director of special education, a very disingenuous woman with whom I had spoken too many times to count, was there along with two other ‘specialists’. The meeting was facilitated by the mediator, an older woman supposedly trained to keep blood from flowing between the parties.

I talked – they talked – we got nowhere. Since attorneys cannot attend a mediation meeting, every so often I would excuse myself and go to another room to discuss with my attorney the progress (?) we were making. I tried to play nicely – I tried to find a common ground – I really did. But the school district representatives refused to budge and kept checking their watches as if they had more important things to do. After three hours, the mediator declared the game over.

The next three or four weeks leading up to the actual hearing were spent collecting and organizing documentation, consulting with the ‘expert’ we hired for our evaluation, and practicing the actual cross examination. My attorney knew the school district attorney was going to go after me with a vengeance, so he went after me with a vengeance first, toughening me up for the hearing. I also spent some time googling the hearing officer’s name. That may sound like a strange thing to do, but there was a method to my madness.

I wanted to know what type of person the hearing officer was. I wanted to know if he had definite views on certain subjects – subjects I should either avoid or mention. I wanted to know how many due process cases he had presided over and how he had decided. I wanted to get inside his head to see if I could then get him inside mine at the hearing.

I found out one interesting fact with my googling. Mr. Hearing Officer was a regular contributor to the adoption agency that had placed Ashley in my home. Knowing that, I bet that it would be a good thing to share with Mr. Hearing Officer that I had adopted both Ashley and my oldest daughter through that agency. Would it help at all? I had no idea, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt.

The week before the hearing, I don’t think I got more than a couple of hours sleep each night. I kept practicing over and over in my mind how I would respond to the school district attorney, and how I would maintain self-control and not let him get to me. I’m not a drinking woman, but that week I rethought that stance….

I didn’t realize this story was going to be so long. I thought I could tell it in three installments, but that doesn’t seem to be working. This has gone too long already, so part three will be next week….

The Greatest Show On Earth

Elephants and tigers and horses and dogs – clowns and sky fliers and rockets shooting people – bright lights and shiny clothes and music so loud you could feel it…Yep, we went to the circus Saturday morning and it was a wonderful sensory experience for Ashley!

I had never taken Ashley to the circus before because I wasn’t sure she would enjoy it, but circuses have really changed since I was a child. It was almost more of a stage show than anything else. I was wrong to thing Ashley would be overwhelmed. I don’t think she ever stopped smiling the entire two hours.

When I decided to try the circus this year, I contacted the Coliseum (our city’s venues for shows such as this) and asked about accessibility. My call was returned by a special lady named Joanne who went out of her way to make things work for Ashley and her wheelchair.

We had three great seats only about 6 feet from the ring. The seats were on a raised platform, so there was no problem with people sitting in front of Ashley and blocking her view. We were the only people on the platform which meant Ashley did not have to deal with her anxiety that comes with crowds of people.

Before the show, children were invited down to the ring to meet the performers. I couldn’t get Ash’s wheelchair down to the ring, but that didn’t stop the performers from coming to her. Every last one of them was pleasant and eager to meet Ashley and have their picture taken with her.

Once the show started, the next two hours passed by in a flash of lights, music, smoke, and pure entertainment! I just have to say it again – the circus of today is nothing like the circus of my childhood! We will go again and again – anytime Ringling Brothers comes to town!!

This and That - Good and Bad

Chip’s Dream

Chip, my birth son and my oldest child, got an acceptance letter in the mail yesterday from his first choice college. To say he is excited is an understatement. And, I hated to dampen that spirit, but unless RIT (Rochester Institute of Technology) comes through with a significant financial aid package, he won’t be able to go. Each year at RIT costs $37,000!!



I think Chip deserves this so much. He has shared his Mom with three adopted siblings with significant disabilities since he was five years old. He has always been supportive, caring, and understanding. He has seen his wants and needs often pushed aside to meet the needs and wants of his siblings. He has had his whole life turned upside down by the decisions I have made for our family, and more than anything, I wish I could make his dream a reality.

No More Bird Music

Back in March of 2007, I wrote about how excited I was when Ashley signed that she could hear the ‘bird music’ (birds singing). Given her hearing impairment, I was both surprised and thrilled.



This past Monday Ashley had another hearing evaluation. Previously, her right ear was evaluated as having a profound loss, and her left with a moderate loss. Monday’s results showed what I already knew – her little bit of hearing was deteriorating. The new evaluation continues to show a profound loss in the right ear, but the left ear now measures as severe to profound.

While we waited for the school bus yesterday morning, the birds were singing very, very loudly. I asked her if she could hear the ‘bird music’. She signed ‘no’….

Thankful Thursday

Today I am thankful...

• that the cortisone shot my orthopedist gave me in my elbow 4 weeks ago is still working


• that my oldest son and I finally finished his FAFSA application for his college choices


• that even though there were four accidents on the freeway on my way to work this morning, I still wasn't late


• that I have learned to accept the fact that no matter how concientious I am, an auditor will always be able to find something that doesn't pass muster


• for the snow shower we had yesterday morning. We have yet to have any significant snow this year, and I really miss it.


• that I am not alone in my anger over the way my school district conducts its special education business


• that Ashley's audiology appointment went well this past Monday. The tiny bit of hearing she had in just one ear has deteriorated, but she doesn't seem to care. She signed to the audiologist that 'deaf ok'.


• that Tatiana del Tora got eliminated on American Idol last night - what a basket case that young lady was!


• that even though I missed our snow this year, Spring is just around the corner - I need some sun and warmth


• that tomorrow is Friday and on Saturday we will be visiting elephants at the circus!