Sunday, June 17, 2007

Eeeyore Has Left The Building

My 14 year old son is an Eeeyore. He is gloomy, slow-talking, and moves at a snail’s pace. He is a glass half empty person and sees the bad in any situation. It’s difficult to convince him that there might be good. I’m sure this life approach comes from his early years, and I wonder if anything can change his views. Will it be possible for him to ever accept that his life can have a positive outcome, or will he be forever chained to the misery of his past? With each passing day I am becoming more convinced, against all my hopes and dreams for him, that his persona, his psyche is now fixed. The problem with all this comes in his interaction with the rest of the family.

Corey left today to spend a week with his grandparents. I don’t think they really wanted him to visit, but my pleas for a break from parenting this difficult child must have worked. The grandparents’ lives got infinitely better the day they convinced me to take this child into my home. Although I feel they misrepresented both him and their position, the die is now cast and I refuse to disrupt Corey’s life anymore. Although he has openly shared how much he doesn’t like living with us, we are at the moment his only chance. His grandparents have told him he cannot come live with them. His aunt and uncle, who coincidentally live only 5 miles from us, refuse to let him live with them, and even refuse visits more than once or twice a year. It’s no wonder this child is an Eeeyore. Even though I understand all this, Eeeyores bring me down, and down is not where I need to be.

I have a lot of challenges in my life, and I do not in any way intend that statement to be negative. But, to be able to face those challenges, I need an upbeat energy, a positive outlook, and a belief that the challenges can be successfully met. My Eeeyore makes that difficult. He’s only been gone on his visit for about 8 hours now and I feel a lightness, a lifting of a burden from my shoulders. I believe my other kids feel it also. Everyone seemed happier this afternoon. There was joking and smiling – no eye rolling or deep sighs of frustration. There was agreement on family activities and planning on what was going to happen the rest of the week while Corey was gone. It’s sad that we feel this way, but for this week, we are going to enjoy this lightness.

I won’t ever give up on helping Corey find lightness himself. I want him to experience the joy of living and not dreading every day. I want him to believe in himself and to trust in others. I don’t want him to forget his past, but I don’t want it to shape his future either. I really hope one day my Eeeyore will leave his gloomy donkey ways behind and become a Tigger, bouncing happily through life.

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