Thursday, January 28, 2010

I Am The Mother

If you are fresh out of college with a degree in education, social work, medicine or something similar, please do not pretend to understand my child’s needs better than I understand them.

If you have been a practicing professional for many years, and your practice has included children with special needs, I am interested in your advice and opinions. However, the ultimate decision on how to raise my child rests with me.

Just because you have a cousin who has a child with Autism, you do not know what is best for my child with Autism.

If you have raised no children of your own, don’t act like you know how to raise mine.

Unless you plan to support my child as an adult, you have no say in the choices my child and I make concerning his/her future.

It’s kind of you to try to understand the worry, the guilt, and the all consuming love I have for my child with significant special needs, but you really and truly cannot understand. Please do not judge me based on your limited understanding.

Just walk beside me – hold my hand when I need to feel someone’s touch – hug me when I am down – cry with me when I am overwhelmed with worry.

Don’t lecture – don’t judge – don’t pretend.

Rejoice with me in my child’s every accomplishment, no matter how insignificant it may seem to you.

Respect the choices and the decisions I make. Respect me. Respect my child.

I promise I will do no less for you.


MMC said...

Simply beautiful.

Deana said...

You've said it perfectly!

mommy~dearest said...

Rawr! Well said!

Cheryl said...


Anonymous said...

Can I have your permission to use this when i speak to parent and teacher groups ?


Ashley's Mom said...

Sue, can you email me about this? My email link is on my blog page.

Ashley's Mom

Katherine said...

How beautiful are these words! A mother really does know best!

Corrie Howe said...

I agree, clearly and beautifully said.

Marie said...


Terri said...

Amen, Amen, Amen!

Megan said...

This is a great post! You are absolutely right. Just because individuals may know someone with a disability, doesn't mean they have a child with disability and it certainly doesn't mean they should assume they understand and know what's best for other people's children!