Sunday, May 11, 2008
If Only I Could Hear the Words
It’s Mother’s Day and I am feeling things that are not as warm and fuzzy as this day warrants. I have four children – four children who have made amazing strides under my mothering. My birth son is graduating from high school next year. He has a future before him that is only limited by his own dreams. The three children who have joined my family through adoption are living life is a way that never would have been possible without me. That may sound a little conceited, but it’s true. And not only are my children’s lives enriched by being in our family, my life is enriched more than I ever imagined. So why the less than positive feelings and thoughts?
The only one of my children that has even acknowledged Mother’s Day is my birth son. The other three have not. Due to her cognitive disabilities, Jessica probably doesn’t even grasp the concept of Mother’s Day. Corey, because he spent 12 years with a person who didn’t deserve the title of Mother, has probably buried all the “Happy Mother’s Day” thoughts deep in the recesses of his brain. And Ashley, the child who every day tells me in many unconventional ways how much she loves me, can’t say the words. I will never hear her sweet voice utter “Happy Mother’s Day”.
I know, I know – things could be a lot worse. At the moment, all my children are healthy and happy. Jessica’s problems with aggressive behaviors have subsided somewhat. Corey made honor roll at school, something no one ever believed possible, and Ashley is healthier than she has been in a long time. But this is my day, and if I want to whine, I believe I have the right.
How do other mothers who have children with significant disabilities get through Mother’s Day each year? I really need some pointers.