Monday, June 22, 2009

We Need a Change

Summers are tough for my 16 year old son, Corey. While he complains about the structure and demands of the school year, when summer rolls around, he moves about like a zombie, never quite knowing what to do.

Corey is not a kid who is self-motivated. As much as I have tried to help him with that, I'm sorry to say it just isn't working. He needs someone to tell him what to do, how to do it, and when to do it. And honestly, I'm a little tired of doing that, and feel like at age 16 I shouldn't have to tell him to brush his teeth, clean his room, wash his clothes, etc. etc.

Since he joined my family four years ago, I have tried a lot of different things to address this issue. I've tried chore charts, very, very detailed chore charts. I've tried positive reinforcement. I've tried negative consequences. And while those things may have an initial effect, they usually stop working after a day or two.

So Corey's summer is spent watching TV, listening to his IPod, wandering around the house, or getting into trouble for not doing what he should be doing. I asked him to get a job for the summer, and he showed little to no interest. He gets annoyed because his brother does have a job, and money to spend, but not annoyed enough to do anything about it.

June's not even over yet and we are already grumbling and snapping at each other. I really need some ideas...


Dark Angel said...

Have you thought about maybe helping corye to find a job? I also have an ASD and have the same kinds of problems due to it. For me, taking initiative is the hardest part, but usually once I've got over the first step with help, things go okay from there.
I'm not saying all people on the spectrum are like me, but it may be worth talking/thinking about.

Allie said...

Golly - no advice because I am a little ways away (thankfully) from the teens years yet. But, you can be sure that I will be coming back to you for ideas because well ... someone has to pave the way for us. :)

Good luck!!