Misplaced Pity

pit•y
   ˈpɪt i [pit-ee] noun,pluralpit•ies, verb,pit•ied, pit•y•ing.
–noun
1.
sympathetic or kindly sorrow evoked by the suffering, distress, or misfortune of another, often leading one to give relief or aid or to show mercy.


I feel like people pity me sometimes. It seems like they feel sorry for me, thinking I’m not able to do the things that most people my age do, not able to go places or engage in activities considered normal for adult women my age.

I appreciate if people want to help me, as long as the offer of help is not accompanied by pity. I don’t understand why some folks feel that my life is one of suffering or distress.

Yes, my life is sometimes difficult, but difficult doesn’t equal suffering or distress in my mind. Yes, I could use a little more sleep sometimes, and yes, a night out with friends (and not children) would be pleasant. But, I don’t feel like I am missing anything in life. In fact, I feel my life is more blessed than those of people who do not have children with special needs.

I am the one that feels pity for those people who do not know the joy of raising a child with special needs.

Seeing your child walk for the first time at age four…

Hearing your child say ‘MaMa’ when you were told she would never talk…

Watching your child’s eyes light up when they realize that there are movies that are closed captioned…

Feeling the soft touch of your child’s hand on your cheek when just a few short years ago that same child broke your ribs in a fit of rage…

Seeing your 2 ½ year old child have to get a G-tube because they only weigh 15 pounds, and then seeing that same child eat pizza, cheeseburgers and spinach salad a few short years later…

Being told that your nine year old child will never be toilet trained and knowing the doctors were so wrong by the time that child is 15 years old…

Seeing your child sign ‘I love you’ for the first time…

And feeling so much love from your 5 teenaged children every day that you feel your heart might just burst….

That, my friends, is nothing to be pitied. That is to be envied and desired.

(The picture above is titled "Pity" and is by William Blake.)