Mary and Stephen

(Photo by Keith Beaty of the Toronto Star)

As a mother, I dream of all my children finding that special someone with whom to share their lives. And, I think most of them will given what special people they are (yes, yes I know – I am a tad prejudiced). But I do think that search will be more difficult for my sweet Ashley.

Deafblindness is a disability of exclusion. It’s difficult for a person with deafblindness to reach out to others, especially when those others don’t understand the complexities of the disability.

So I was especially heartened when I read this story in the Toronto Star.

Mary and Stephen have been married for 32 years. Stephen is 66 years old and his wife, Mary is 67 years old. They are both deafblind. They attended school together as children, but then life took them down separate paths. However, in a story ripe for the movies, they reconnected many years later and quickly got married.

They both speak (through intervenors) of how much they enjoy their life. Stephen even, much to Mary’s embarrassement, says “The sex is good!” And now they are looking forward to spending the rest of their lives together.

That is what I want for my Ashley.

Mary and Stephen’s only reqret? They can’t have children. Mary’s mother had her sterilized when she was a young woman.

Ashley also loves children. So I will add to my dreams for her that she will one day be a mother. I can picture it in my mind, and it is a beautiful picture indeed.