Thursday, March 31, 2011
It Is Indeed Sherific!
Most days I don’t think about all that is involved in caring for my children with significant disabilities. I just do what needs to be done. Most days, everything gets done that should get done, and then we move on to the next day. But if it doesn’t all get done, I can get pretty stressed and feel like a not-so-good mother.
But I read something this week from Sheri, one of my favorite bloggers which helped me understand my feelings a little better.
On her blog, Ain’t That Sherific, Sheri was asked some questions from a new mother of a child with FAS (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome), and during the course of answering those questions, Sheri, also an adoptive mother, realized that as parents we are just as traumatized as our children with significant needs have been traumatized. It doesn’t matter that we weren’t around when the trauma was occurring. It moved into the family the same day our children did.
Intellectually I realize that, but I know that emotionally I have not accepted it.
One of the final paragraphs in Sheri’s post really hit home with me. She wrote, “We can advocate for our kids. We can fight for services. We can beg and plead for help. When it comes down to it, we are left alone to deal with the aftermath of the trauma they suffered as children. We can make it better, but it will never ever go away. My child's brain damage caused by alcohol in utero will not repair itself. We have to cut them some slack. Why shouldn't we cut ourselves the same slack?”
She’s right – we parents do need to cut ourselves slack. We need to realize that we do the absolute best we can, and we usually do it better than anyone else ever could. And even if we don’t, we keep trying.
Sheri, you have been an inspiration to me since I first ‘met’ you, and you continue today. Thank you for helping me see what is right in front of me.