This past Friday evening, I did my weekly grocery shopping at WalMart. I know, I know...Friday evening at Wally World? I must be crazy. But I saw something there and wanted your opinion.
As I walked up and down the grocery aisles, I noticed a family - 4 children - two older teens, one girl that looked to be aorund 8 years old, and a boy who appeared to be about 12 or 13 years old. The group was being herded along by one of the mothers you just know rules the roost in her family, one of those "Don't you sass me, boy!" type of women. The children were following along behind her, not a one of them doing anything they shouldn't. But apparently one of them had done something he shouldn't.
The boy who looked to be 12 or 13 years old was wearing a sign, an 8 1/2 by 11 piece of paper that had the message "I like to steal" written in bold marker. It was pinned to his shirt just below his chin. His eyes were cast downward, and he moved with leaden feet.
So what do you think? Apparently this child had tried shoplifting and had been caught. His mother felt wearing the sign through the store was appropriate punishment. What do you think? Would you do this to one of your children caught shoplifting? Do you think the punishment fit the crime? Do you think wearing the sign would make the child think twice the next time he might have the urge to help himself to something that was not his?
Just wondering....
3 comments:
It might stop the stealing but it is even more likely to have a long-lasting negative effect on the child's relationship with his parent. It also is going to leave him with feelings of shame that far outweigh the seriousness of the offense. What ever happened to making the kid take the stuff back and apoligize to the store manager? What worries me is the question of what else she has done to this kid.
On one hand, I am glad the parent is doing *something* and not just ignoring the issue. My nanny's 10 year old daughter went snooping through my closet and stole several hundred dollars that I had hidden. Long story, but we know it was her. And her mother wouldn't do a thing about it. Couldn't believe that her daughter would ever do such a thing, blah blah.
But much like doing *nothing,* I'm not sure that humiliation tactics are very effective. It's not getting to the root of the problem why the boy is stealing. Instead, it's just shaming him and will probably just make him feel mistrustful, isolated and angry.
However, maybe that's all the boy needed to learn his lesson, and he'll never do it again. Not knowing the child, his personality, or the history, it's hard to say whether this was the best response, or the worst response...
I'm really conflicted about this also. Glad that the parent is doing something but not sure this is the right something. Seeing the child and the humilation made me very uncomfortable...
And JWG, I agree, I wonder what other forms of punishment have been used...
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