Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Hear Today, Gone Tomorrow
What little bit of hearing my dear Ashley had is starting to deteriorate. Two years ago, the audiologist recorded a profound loss in her right ear and a severe loss in her left. But, she could still hear loud noises, and seemed to hear the voices of some people, people I think whose tone and cadence she had become accustomed to.
She’s always relied a lot on Tadoma, and if a person will get close enough to her, she can also read lips a little. But recently, I’m noticing that she is missing things she used to be able to hear. And the worst thing of all, the few words that she could almost say are now nearly unrecognizable.
I can’t remember the last time I heard ‘Gip’, her way of saying her brother’s name, Chip. ‘Hi’ - or her version ‘HUH’ - is seldom uttered anymore, although we do still hear ‘Bye’ pretty clearly. She also will still say ‘Oooh Mae’, her way of saying her dear aide’s name Amy.
But the saddest loss? I’m not hearing ‘Mom Mom’ very often, and her ‘I lu’ for ‘I love you’ is slowly slipping away.
Yes, she signs all those things. Yes, her signing has improved even as her hearing as deteriorated. But, I’m really going to miss the sweet little voice of my daughter.
Maybe I shouldn’t be so sad….but I am.