Friday, December 3, 2010

Your Magic Wand

What would you do if you had a magic wand? Would you make changes for your children with disabilities? Yourself? Other members of your family? Or would you use it to help those outside your family – doctors, therapists, neighbors, extended family, friends – understand and accept your children with disabilities?

I think most people outside the sphere of disability would immediately think we would use the magic wand to ‘cure’ or ‘fix’ our child with a disability. My co-workers, for instance, would be sure I would wave the wand and make Ashley see and hear, or Ronnie hear, or Jessica stop her raging behaviors. Well, other than Jessica’s raging behaviors, I wouldn’t use my wand to change my children – unless they asked me to.

I love my children exactly the way they are. If they preferred to have their disability taken away, then most certainly I would use my wand for that. But it wouldn’t mean they would be any ‘better’ in my eyes. They are perfect already.

I believe I would use my wand to make their lives and my life a little easier. I would wish that we would all not catch so many colds and get so many infections. I would wave it before walking into a doctor’s office. My wand would go shopping with us to stop the stares and rude comments. And of course I would use it to instill a belief in their teachers’ minds that they were capable and worthy of an appropriate education.

I might use it to help Ashley sleep a little better at night, and to get things done around my house to make it easier for Ashley’s and Ronnie’s wheelchairs to get around. Then of course, I could use it to make the grass and landscaping in my yard always look perfect!

Having a magic wand would indeed be fun for a while. How about you? How would a magic wand help you?


Azaera said...

I would make Skyler's pituitary whole and functioning.. I struggle everyday with having to give him life sustaining meds, I worry about the long term side effects that steroids will have on his little body.. I only wish he didn't need them to live. I wish he didn't need that shot of hydro cortisol to make sure he doesn't go into adrenal failure and die. That's what I'd change.. I feel guilty admitting it, but there it is I'm being honest.

I'm sure most people would think I'd fix his eyes or his vision, but that's just the way he sees the world. There's nothing there to fix, it is his normal.. It may limit him from some things but it doesn't put his life at risk like his pituitary problems do. So yeah, I'd make my kid less medically fragile I guess.

Rena said...

someone asked me that question a few years ago, actually, and I had a similar response. If Queen Teen asked me to "fix" her, I'd do it, but I wouldn't automatically chose to. My response surprised us both. i've dreamed of finding a cure for my daughter, but when I think about it, I would only want to make sure she was happy. that's more important than using a magic wand to make her disabilities vanish

JCB said...

I have a different take on this completly. Our boys both have fetal alcohol syndrome and if I had a majic wand I would change them instantly - and I would change all mothers with addictions who get pregnant - that they could overcome their addictions during their pregnancies.

Ashley's Mom said...

Lovesmukiwa, I agree with you about using the magic wand to keep all prospective mothers from drinking. Although I try not to go to this place too often, I sometimes wonder how much better my Ashley's life could have been had her mother not been an alcoholic.