Thursday, April 22, 2010

Is There a Right Answer?

I'm curious to know how others feel about this.

Abbie Dorn always wanted children, and in June 2006 she got her wish -- triplets. But during a difficult birth she suffered severe brain damage that took away her chance to raise them.

Now, her parents and former husband are locked in a legal battle over whether Dorn is capable of interacting with her children, and whether they should visit her.

The full text of the article can be found here.

Should Abbie be able to visit with her children? Would it be too traumatic for them? If not now, when should they be allowed to visit? Do you feel her husband is being cruel, or are her parents being unrealistic?

Whatever else you may feel, I think we can all agree that what happened to Abbie during her delivery is very sad...


Azaera said...

I don't think she should be deprived of her children. I think the father is wrong. Those children may not have a "typical" mom but they should at least have contact with her and know who she is. It's completely unfair for him to toss her aside and basically say "damaged goods" and cut her out of her children's lives. She gave up herself to give birth to them basically and now she is tossed to the wayside.

I'm sorry that he can't stand to see her that way, but if he had truly loved her he would be by her side regardless of her mental capacity because that's what love is. If something happened to C I wouldn't abandon him on his parents doorstep and take our son away from him. That's just barbaric.

I understand he's worried about the impact it may have on the children, but what's worse, knowing your mother is "different" or not knowing your mother at all except that your father believes she's not worth having in your life because she's mentally incapacitated? That will only teach them a prejudice against people who are different.

I mean even if he refuses to live with her or take care of her full time at least let the children visit. She gave birth to them! It's not like she's going to abuse them! Which is more than I can say for some parents who do have access to their own children.

Well I'm all riled up now. Sorry about that. Anyway that's just my two cents.

Queenbuv3 said...

I think her children need to know their mother, period. It's never easy to explain difficult things to our children but they need to learn about everything in life eventually. I explain things to my daughter in the simplest terms as she asks me questions and as she asks more complex questions, I give her more detailed answers. I only tell her what she is looking for the answers to at the time.

To me, this situation is no different than what used to happen back in the dark ages when people would put a sibling in an institution without telling the sibling(s) living at home and then revealing the bombshell when they became adults. Very traumatic.

The kids need to know their mother. Regardless of what condition she is in mentally she is their mother and deserves the respect of being acknowledged. The kids can have things explained to them in more complex terms as they grow up.

This is so sad. I really hope the kids and mom are able to be a part of each others lives.

mommy~dearest said...

When I first read this post, I was saddened. Now that I've read the article, I'm infuriated.

I understand giving the father custody- Abbie cannot take care of her children. But no contact? No... contact?!? I fully agree with the commenter who called it barbaric. The father makes me sick. I find him utterly disgraceful.

It's difficult to believe that the legal system is even entertaining this, but we all know how the legal system is...