Tuesday, July 17, 2012


I know that I have written several times in the past about how annoyed I get when people stare at my children. I’m not going to do that today, and in fact, am trying to wrap my mind around a new thought pattern for the stares based on this post by Diary of a Mom. But, I am going to write about the comments that are sometimes made about my children – mostly because I find them incredibly insensitive and rude.

I don’t mind comments or questions from children. In fact, I welcome the opportunity to help them see that my children are not so different from other children. It’s the comments of adults that often make the hair stand up on the back of my neck.

The comments run the gamut from:
• What’s wrong with her?
• Why won’t she just walk?
• Why does he make those funny noises?
• His legs look strange.
• Her hair would look so much better if you let it grow out.
• How did she mess up her eye?
• Why in the world would you want to adopt a kid like that?
• Do you run a group home?
• What’s he going to do when you aren’t around anymore?
• She doesn’t have much of a future, does she?
And my all time favorite:
• She goes to a real school?

How would these people like it if I asked rude questions about their family member? I bet their hackles would rise even more than mine do. What I don’t know is how to react to the questions and comments. Should I choose the high road as described by Diary of a Mom, or are comments even less acceptable than the stares.

What do you think? And what do you do when someone makes a rude or insensitive comment about your child?

1 comment:

Phil Dzialo said...

First time here, but I understand the stare and gaze at 'em phenomenon quite clearly after 14 years. Actually I would welcome stupid questions rather than have some speaking to my son's back, as if he could actually respond. I would appreciate some degree of stupidity as opposed to treating him wit indifference as an abstraction. I got your message and it resonates...