Thursday, August 11, 2011

Just a Thought

I know that there are people who will read this post and immediately start googling the location of the closest psych ward for me. But, trust me, I’m not ‘doing’ anything yet – I’m just sharing thoughts.

Now that I have a spare bedroom (Corey has left home and joined the Army), my thoughts immediately went to the subject of adoption. It seems a shame to have an empty bedroom when so many kids wait for a bedroom and a family to call their own.

**This is where some of you may start your Google searches**

I have not made a decision to adopt another child, but I must confess that I have visited the adoptuskids website. However, the type of child I would want to adopt (if I had made a decision to adopt again and I haven’t) is not the type that is featured on that website. I would want a child that is either currently in an institution or is headed to an institution.

It truly breaks my heart to just think for a minute about a child growing up in a room with a number on the outside. It breaks my heart to think of such a child not getting tucked in and a kiss goodnight every day. It breaks my heart that such a child may never hear the words “I love you” and have them ring true.

Children need siblings, not other ‘residents’. They need family dinners even if they are fed through a tube. They need holidays with loved ones not holidays spent with the ‘alternate’ staff. They need a dog or a cat and to raise butterflies at least once in their life. They need to sit on a blanket under a tree in the back yard looking up at the cloud shapes. They need sticky hands from popsicles eaten on a summer evening, all the while watching the blinking of lightning bugs. They need to wake up in the morning to the same face that they saw when they went to sleep the night before. They need vacations spent at the shore every year. They need Christmas presents under a tree that has a family’s history of ornaments dangling from it.

They need a family.

I’m not intimidated by complex medical needs. I have learned to navigate the health system in my area, and we have one of the best teaching hospitals in the US here. I have connections and family supports. I understand the insurance system and how to make it work for my children. I have a good job that allows me adequate time off, and I have the supports in place for my children when I am working. But I also have this nagging little whisper in my head that keeps talking about adoption of a medically involved child.

Will I answer that whisper? Not today. But maybe in the future….


Krystle said...

No google searches here! I think it's a great idea! I've looked at an international adoption website a couple of times feature SN kids. I have fallen inlove with this blonde haired blue eyed little boy who has spina bifida.
It saddens me our new house will only have 2 bedrooms because I know our adoption goals will probably never happen due to the laws, etc. International adoption is VERY expensive, this little boys total was going to be close to 40k.
Dh is 100% fine with adopting a SN child, which you don't find very often.
Oh well, who knows what will happen in the future.
Would you be looking in Virginia/US or international?

Molly said...

Reece's Rainbowwwwwwww! So many sweeties about to be sent to institutions! Also, you're totally not insane.

Ashley's Mom said...

Molly, I looked into Reece's Rainbow but was told that because I am a single parent, I could not adopt through them. I understand that a two parent family would be best for a child, but wouldn't not living in an institution be better?

Ashley's Mom said...

Krystle, you are right, international adoption is very expensive. And, there are so many children in the US that also need families.

I would be concentrating my search in Virginia...

Jess said...

I figure that you will know when you have enough kids, and maybe your current brood isn't enough! Jer and I have already talked about adopting another child with special needs once Ellen's adoption is finalized. Unfortunately there are all too many kids waiting for families-- both here and abroad.

KittyDobson said...


you have a number of kids already, can you afford another?

do you have the time to give them?

Do you have the strength to fight for another childs rights?

can you still take care of yourself and your health??

From all I've seen over the years? Yes :) YOU are the only one who can decide if you are able to handle another child, and in this instance, you can also decide what medical condition you would take on. I say when you are ready, you will make the right decision, you'll look into all factors and make the right choice!!

MMC said...

You're an amazing lady. If you decide this is right for you and your family, don't worry about pple who talk crazy talk. I mean, they are, after all, talking crazy talk, right?

Deana said...

We have thought of adoption, at some point. I love looking through at all of the beautiful children, and my heart breaks that they don't have a home.

She is especially lovely...

"An ideal parent for India is someone with a medical background or an interest in learning how to provide for her medical care. India’s pediatric medical facility is able to provide training on her medical needs. India is eligible for a subsidized adoption. Her forever family will need to support her through adulthood. "

Ashley's Mom said...

Deana, India is lovely and is exactly the type of child I was describing in this post!